What marriage is.

As I grow older, my thoughts on this subject get deeper. At times, I wish someone had told me more about this as was starting out on my marriage but I also realize that much of it cannot be learned unless it is lived.

We just celebrated our 21st anniversary last month. As you read this, bear in mind, it's a distillation of these 21 years we've had and of some of the thoughts which I've written previously within this blog.

You have to understand what marriage is: It's a contract between two people AND the government. That's it. It doesn't mean the two people love each other. It only means that the state owns both your asses. It also allows the government to force the two of you into an ownership relationship, ergo, MY wife or MY husband, MY spouse. In other words, you get to dictate many of the actions of the other. According to the government.

Having said that, there ARE certain legal benefits to a marriage relationship, especially where children are concerned and with regard to inheritance issues, etc. Nevertheless, if you choose to get "married" in the eyes of the government, remember that it is ONLY a contract between the two of you and them and nothing more.

A committed relationship requires no such contract or binding agreement. It isn't even about giving oneself to another which is equally abhorrent. It's about two hearts merging together and becoming one. A complete mating of the hearts and minds and souls

Your mate is a part of you and you are a part of your mate. At that point, why would you do something to hurt your mate? Hurting the partner is hurting yourself. Of far greater importance is that when you support your mate and your mate supports you and you build each other up at every opportunity, you are doing the same for yourself. As you help your mate to grow, you also grow and as you accept your mate's efforts to help you to grow, your mate also grows with those efforts.

There are those who marry and many years later, their hearts merge and become one. Sad that it wasn't there beforehand but no harm, hopefully, that it took so long. Better, though, to be mated before making that step toward marriage and marriage to be done only if there are compelling reasons to do so, especially if children are desired.

Ultimately, though, marriage is not required in order for a pair to mate. Indeed, marriage could even prevent a mating as I've described. If commitment and trust and reliance exist between the two and they have mated in every way possible, then there is no need for a marriage. A far greater union, a much better joining has happened than can ever be accomplished in front of any priest or minister or justice of the peace. There is no need for a vow of the lips. The promise is in the heart and mind and body and soul.

Such a promise will never be betrayed or questioned.

--Wag--