How to attract hot chicks

Posted this elsewhere recently but thought it would fit in well here.

True story which has happened to me on more than a couple of occasions. Details have been changed to protect the innocent.

Scenario is, I'm sitting in my office as I generally do at my job. Nobody has bothered me all day. I'm getting a trainload of work done. 4:00 rolls around and I'm doing well.

All of a sudden, I have to fart, but I'm doing well so I don't want to get up to go outside. Lean over and tear off an SBD. It's a rank mutha, too.

Almost like there was a director in a crappy comedy movie making this production, the hot chick from marketing walks in and needs to discuss something that A) could have waited till next month to give the air time to clear or B) it's too damn late for the discussion to do any damn good at all. It's worth mentioning that marketing personnel ALWAYS call me on the phone for such discussions because their building is a half mile or so away from ours.

In the meantime, the SBD continues to scream its presence. There is no way you could miss it. She doesn't say a thing and keeps a straight face. I work hard to extend the discussion as long as possible both because she has great hooters but also because I shouldn't have to suffer with the fumes all by myself.

Sooooo, since this happens over and over again I can only assume that farts attract hot chicks. In fact, I'm beginning to hypothesize that farts can actually breach time and space and teleport hot chicks right to your side. Further testing is required.

Try it some time! Keep some Febreze nearby.

--Wag--