My wife's cell phone rang one day a couple of years ago and this is what I heard on my end:
"Hello?"
Slight pause.
"SQUEEEEEEEAALLLLLL!!!!!"
My wife is about as even-tempered as they come. It took about half of our 16 years of marriage to get her trained that way and with the unfortunate help of some medical maladies, she's about as level-headed as a real woman can get. I count my lucky stars. So, when she squeals at someone on the phone at top volume, it gets my attention in a big way. In addition to scaring the ever-living hell outta me, it makes me wonder what on earth is so scary, thrilling or exciting as to get her to squeal like a banshee.
After scraping the shredded remains of myself off the wall, I looked over to see that it was a squeal of happy excitement and not one of pain and suffering. There have been other squeals from time to time during our marriage from either of us but this is not one of THOSE stories. Some other time, I promise.
The conversation continued, my wife dancing in place as she spoke. It looked like a version of the pee-pee dance on cocaine. Or what I would imagine such a dance to look like!
"That's SO INCREDIBELY AWESOME!! We're so happy for you!"
She already had my undivided attention but this really took the cake. She was telling someone how happy *I* was but I still had no clue as to what I should be so happy about. In an attempt to answer a bunch of questions, I gave her an ASL sign to ask, "Who the HELL is THAT?" (The nice thing about ASL is that you can communicate very effectively very quickly from across the room.) My wife fingerspelled back, "Godzilla." Well, that's what it looked like in the middle of the dance she was doing. (The bad thing about ASL is that it doesn't work well when someone has temporarily lost nearly all motor control.) I figured the, "Godzilla," interpretation of her signing was probably due to my own ineptitude with ASL. I'd just have to wait.
"Ohhhhh, you guys are so awesome! We can't believe you've actually decided to do it!"
I raised a questioning eyebrow and directed it at my wife, only be ignored. "Do it?" The first thing that came to mind was that someone was about to have sex. But out of the 1,000 or more people I know, all of them are already having sex on a regular basis, at least the ones who should be, and besides, that first squeal was not the kind of thing I would expect to hear when there is news of other people having sex. Only when *I'm* having sex. Again, I digress. I wondered if someone were buying a house, or a car or going on a trip. Nah, couldn't be. They don't merit that kind of squeal either. Getting married? Closer but still . . . . I felt like I was losing ground and sat there squirming, irritated that I couldn't figure out who was talking to my wife and what they were talking about that was so truly wonderful.
Girlish banter went back and forth for going on 30 minutes. I gave up listening intently after 4.736 seconds and went back to surfing the web, listening with half an ear at my wife's half of the conversation. An intermittent squeal would issue forth from time to time, twanging my already irritated nerves.
I perked up right away when I heard her say, "Goodbye." She squealed again as if she thought she needed to get more of my attention. This time, it hurt my ears. I suspect she just had some leftover squealing that had to wait until she was off the phone. This squeal was even more unnatural because she was trying to talk to me as she squealed. I waited for that long, painful ordeal to be over. A century went by in those few moments. I sprouted the first few gray hairs of my life. (They still haven't gone away.) My hearing ability declined by 25 decibels. My mind began to shiver and quake in it's bunker. Brain cells began to retreat by the millions. The spectre of a mental institution began to loom before me in a hazy vision of a future living amongst white-suited nurses and drooling, dopey-eyed cell mates.
(Hey, I had to suffer, you have to suffer!)
I told my dearly beloved to take a deep breath and try again. She did. FINALLY, I get the picture. "D. and J. have decided to try to have a baby!" (J. is my cousin and D. is her husband.)
"Oh, really?" I replied.
"Yes, isn't it GREAT?!!" She was getting close to squealing again. She took some more deep breaths while I coached her. I was nearly qualified to start teaching LaMaze classes by now.
"Wow!. That's cool." I turned to surf the web some more. A moment later, I was peeling myself off the wall again. This time, I had a bloody lip and a black eye.
"What the hell did you do THAT for?"
"Aren't you excited for them?" She glared at me.
"Of course I am, my dear. I just don't think I can get in a squeal like you did. Besides, you've kinda cornered the market on squeals for the day. Or the year."
This time, I was able to successfully duck. How is it that a man can take a perfectly happy wife and turn her into a raging troll in a microsecond? I've done it many times but damned if I could actually explain how it works to another man, assuming said man would WANT to do it. Somehow, it just happens on occasion and no clue as to how.
I grabbed my wife's flailing arms. "Honey, don't be mad. I'm happy for them. I look forward to having another little nephew or niece in my life. Best of all, they live close enough for us to spoil the crap outta the little tyke and give it back to terrorize his or her parents!"
"You're an ass," she said and tore herself away from my grasp.
"Yes, honey. That's why you married me," I said with the usual laugh. The joke usually made her smile. Not this time, however. Bummer. She must be really pissed.
After a couple of weeks, she finally cooled off. Things were good again. J. came and visited us one day. She hadn't gotten knocked up yet but she said they were trying. I offered to loan her my, "Loose Sorority Babes on Campus," video in case they needed suggestions. She declined. Strange. I would have thought that would be high on her list of educational material on how to make babies. Oh, well. Of course, my wife and I were jazzed to chat with her about the whole thing. She was excited. My wife was excited. I was excited. I assumed D. was excited, though he wasn't there that day. Excitement abounding everywhere. I swear, I could hear the harps and see the winged cherubs in the background.
At least the squealing was over. For the moment.
--Wag--
Monday, December 19, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Life's beginnings
"I need a favor from you." J. was confident, and rightly so, that I'd do anything for her. She's my beloved cousin, after all.
"What d'ya need, doll?" I asked her.
"Well, you remember that we didn't do the video of R's birth."
"Yup."
"I was wondering, could you do a write up of it? You know. The actual events. Just write what happened."
"Hmmmm." I was already thinking, How could I make that work? I loved the idea the instant she brought it up.
"Well, you know," I said, "I wrote a little about it on my blog."
"Yeah, but I was hoping for more of a play by play. I was really out of it and for all intents and purposes, I wasn't even really there."
"I do remember that. Of course, I'd love to do it. I'm flattered you would ask."
"That's right. I couldn't think of anyone better to do this project."
"Now I'm complimented, too!" I doubt I'll be able to get through the door and down the hallway to go to bed tonight! "I'll get started on and keep you posted, J. This should be a really cool project!"
We hung up and I reflected back.
I turned to my wife. "That was J. She wants me to write about the birth. All the gory details."
My wife says, "That should be fun. Why don't you go back to the very beginning and write about all the stuff that went on during the pregnancy and even before that?"
"That's a good idea. I think I can handle that. You'll have to help me fill in the details. J and D should put details into it too. It would be a thrill and a half." I continued, "I should start at the birth, however, and do the rest of the prelude story as flashbacks. That would be really cool."
"Yeah!" My wife gets excited rather easily when there's a great project in the works. Sometimes, I think she doesn't consider the amount of work that has to go into such a project. 'Specially when someone else is doing the work. I, on the other hand, focus ONLY on the amount of work which is why I never get anything done! But this. This is a project of worth. Of value. Of fun, even, despite the work.
I can hardly wait to get started.
It only takes me three hours to get it rolling. I can hardly wait to finish this one. The above will be the first section or chapter or introduction to this story. I know how it ends. I can't wait to tell it to you!
--Wag--
"What d'ya need, doll?" I asked her.
"Well, you remember that we didn't do the video of R's birth."
"Yup."
"I was wondering, could you do a write up of it? You know. The actual events. Just write what happened."
"Hmmmm." I was already thinking, How could I make that work? I loved the idea the instant she brought it up.
"Well, you know," I said, "I wrote a little about it on my blog."
"Yeah, but I was hoping for more of a play by play. I was really out of it and for all intents and purposes, I wasn't even really there."
"I do remember that. Of course, I'd love to do it. I'm flattered you would ask."
"That's right. I couldn't think of anyone better to do this project."
"Now I'm complimented, too!" I doubt I'll be able to get through the door and down the hallway to go to bed tonight! "I'll get started on and keep you posted, J. This should be a really cool project!"
We hung up and I reflected back.
I turned to my wife. "That was J. She wants me to write about the birth. All the gory details."
My wife says, "That should be fun. Why don't you go back to the very beginning and write about all the stuff that went on during the pregnancy and even before that?"
"That's a good idea. I think I can handle that. You'll have to help me fill in the details. J and D should put details into it too. It would be a thrill and a half." I continued, "I should start at the birth, however, and do the rest of the prelude story as flashbacks. That would be really cool."
"Yeah!" My wife gets excited rather easily when there's a great project in the works. Sometimes, I think she doesn't consider the amount of work that has to go into such a project. 'Specially when someone else is doing the work. I, on the other hand, focus ONLY on the amount of work which is why I never get anything done! But this. This is a project of worth. Of value. Of fun, even, despite the work.
I can hardly wait to get started.
It only takes me three hours to get it rolling. I can hardly wait to finish this one. The above will be the first section or chapter or introduction to this story. I know how it ends. I can't wait to tell it to you!
--Wag--
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Hayabusa
Go check out this picture:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051123/sc_nm/space_japan_dc
(It's the picture of the Itokawa asteroid taken from the Japanese Hayabusa space probe.
My opinion: It's fake.
I can't tell you why I think so but the photo gives me the impression of being "contrived."
--Wag--
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051123/sc_nm/space_japan_dc
(It's the picture of the Itokawa asteroid taken from the Japanese Hayabusa space probe.
My opinion: It's fake.
I can't tell you why I think so but the photo gives me the impression of being "contrived."
--Wag--
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Freedom and Responsibility
For some reason, I've had this essay simmering in my mind for quite a while now.
I'm not sure why but more and more frequently, it seems that people are overly concerned with what they can get from the next guy. Money, power, etc. Mostly money, however. The lottery makes tons of money, people will file lawsuits at the drop of a hat knowing it's very likely that the defendant will simply pay up rather than spend tons of money to defend himself and his property. Lawsuits of that nature don't get defended on principle nearly often enough. Judges don't throw frivolous suits out of court when they should because people have a god-given right to sue, dammit.
It's nauseating. It's sad to see a perfectly good human being waste his precious life and his time trying to get a big windfall in court. Even more sad is the human devastation which comes in the wake of such a suit. Don't get me wrong, if a person has been legitimately damaged by the action of another, the courts are well-suited to keeping us from duelling over the issue the next morning with guns or swords and lots of bloody mess to clean up afterward. There's a thought, though. Maybe if we did so, people would think a lot more seriously about whether or not their issue was all that serious! Something to consider, eh?!
What it all boils down to is this: With great freedom comes great responsibility. Such a very simplistic phrase, fraught with depth and great meaning and well worth any honest treatise.
With that, you see the purpose of this essay. Would that my words could more easily convey my thoughts. Starting with the idea that great freedom brings great responsibility, let's start with my experiences as a MOrmon, growing up in an environment wherein we were told what to think and when. Our responsibility for our thoughts was supplanted quite effectively. The result, of course, was that we could do only whatever we were told to do or not do it. That was the extent of our responsibility. Either do it or don't and if you don't, you're punished for it. Rewards were to come in a future existence.
Of course, we didn't have any real freedom as a result. We only had the choice of A or B. A was to be "good." B was to be "bad." End of story. My father used to tell me, "Yes, you have a choice. You can choose to go to church or you can choose to stay home and clean the house, the yard, the cars, the dogs and then if the rest of the family isn't home yet, you can start all over again." Some choice, eh? Of course, responsibility was limited to getting a whupping if you chose to stay home and sit around reading a favorite stack of comic books instead. Once we learned to fake sick from time to time, we could avoid both at will.
Needless to say, this particular lazy bastard went to church and suffered, probably more, actually.
Look at people who do not attemp to provide for their own retirement. What do you do with such a person? Do you judge them as having been one who "should have known" and should have started working on their retirement at age 21 so they would be financially ready when age 67 1/2 rolled around? I don't know the answer to that question. What I DO know is that if they don't take responsibility for themselves, government steps in with social security to pay the bills. So why should we care? The government will take care of everything! Or so it is said.
In short, the guy doesn't have to be responsible for himself. And guess what? He loses a small amount of freedom. Could he have done better than the government in providing for his retirement? Without a doubt. His level of freedom is reduced by the amount of financial freedom he loses by relying solely on the government to provide. In other words, by giving his responsibility over to the government social security program.
Remember, if you give up responsibility, you give up freedom. Every time you allow the government, religion, your spouse, your parents or teachers to take over responsibility for your existence, you give up some degree of your personal freedom. Ever hear of the guy who's 45 years old and lives at home? Do you think he has freedom for any of the time during which his parents are paying his bills for him? Freedom is lost as responsibility is abdicated and shrivels from disuse. Those who do not willingly take responsibility for their actions amd themselves are a curse to society.
I think this may be one of the reasons gun owners are upset about gun control laws. It's a clear-cut case of the government telling people, "You're not competent enough to take care of the responsibilities of this device so we're going to disallow you this freedom and this responsibility."
Same thing with drug usage. Alcohol consumption. Property rights. Etc. etc. Any time the government tells you you can or cannot do something innocuous, it's a denail of freedom, pure and simple. It's as if government would prefer to take away your freedoms than hold you appropriately responsible for your actions. I wonder why that is.
Always remember, it is not possible to give up responsibility for yourself and retain your freedom. Likewise, if you wish to have great freedom, you must accept great responsibility. Remember that concept when you go to the polls and elect officials who wish to limit your freedoms and your responsibilities. Can you handle the responsibility of putting a roof over your head without the government stepping in with a minimum wage requirement? Or do you believe it's more important to have a job guarantee based on your high-school diploma because you were too lackadaisical about your education and decided to party instead?
Every time you allow someone to make a decision for you, you give up your freedom and responsibility for the action. Those who take your freedom in such a fashion are the most likely to claim that you have the most freedom. Beware this delusion. If you abdicate your responsibility and hand it to another, you run the risk of finding yourself incabable of exercising any particular freedom in your future if for no other reason than simply because you're completely incompetent. Those who allow such things to occur do not understand the connection between freedom and responsibility. Those who would perpetuate the loss of freedoms or responsibilities also may not understand the connection. Think carefully any time you say, "I'll take care of that for you," to another person. You may do them more harm than good.
A valuable note: If you use your freedom irresponsibly, you will lose it. Think about it. If you commit a crime and end up in jail, your freedom is gone. If you fail to go to school, you may find yourself stuck in a desk job and wondering, at age 40, what the hell happened? Wondering why you have no financial freedom and are living from paycheck to paycheck. How depressing. Once lost, your freedoms become difficult to regain. Look forward with clear eyes and protect your future freedoms with your present responsibility.
If you give up your responsibility and freedom willingly, it is a slap in the face to those who gave you your freedom. Think of the veterans who fought for your freedoms. Think of the immigrants who battled their way through obstacles and hardships to get their butts to this country, because it was free, to give their children, your ancestors, the freedom to build a life better than that which was left behind in the old countries.
Those who take responsibility for their actions are the purveyors of freedom for all. Those who seek to blame others for their ills are, in some fashion or another, slaves in their own minds, having given up their freedoms and responsibilities.
Often people seek to get monetary compensation for natural calamities. These people are not free either, though they seem to believe they are. They are slaves to their own "handout" mentality. Such illicitly-gotten money will soon be gone simply because the value of a handout cannot be perceived because of it's ill-gotten nature. People laud the paychecks of sports figures. Baseball, Basketball, Football, etc. etc. Jo DiMaggio once said, "There are no rich men's sons in baseball." Now why do you think that is? Simple: They have no stomach for the effort required to be in baseball. I suspect that also answers the question of why so many of the best baseballers are immigrants from third-world countries.
"Life responds to deserve, not to need." --Jim Rohn. Those who receive without deserving to will soon lose that which they received. The freedom to deserve things carries with it the responsibility to act with care for that which was received. Fortunately, such deserving also carries with it an equivalent sense of responsibility for that which was received. The guy who makes his own chit will take good care of it. Ever give your kid a toy for Christmas and find out it's destroyed an hour or two later and forgotten in a pile of wreckage? How dispappointing is that? Do you have any doubt that if continued, that kind of behavior will continue throughout the child's life? Is there some damage that will occur to the child if they pay for their own car as opposed to you buying it for him?
All too often, people in a free society are deluded into believing that freedom and entitlement are the same thing. This mindset causes a fast erosion of freedoms. There is nothing in the law of nature or of this country which says that healthcare should be given to every person. Every person should be able to work for it, sure. There is no law that says that every person in this country should have a higher education. Only that they should be able to work for it. Does that sound harsh? Again, what's to stop a person from getting an education necessary to command the kind of job which comes with a health benefit? Only his lack of a sense of responsibility.
The American populace in their own free society, has a delusion that Freedom and Entitlement both mean the same thing. They do not. In order for freedom to work, entitlement has to be eliminated. Once again, life responds to deserve, not need. And certainly not to a vaporous concept such as entitlement.
I suppose it could be said, the more responsibility which is accepted by a person, the more free that person will be.
--Wag--
I'm not sure why but more and more frequently, it seems that people are overly concerned with what they can get from the next guy. Money, power, etc. Mostly money, however. The lottery makes tons of money, people will file lawsuits at the drop of a hat knowing it's very likely that the defendant will simply pay up rather than spend tons of money to defend himself and his property. Lawsuits of that nature don't get defended on principle nearly often enough. Judges don't throw frivolous suits out of court when they should because people have a god-given right to sue, dammit.
It's nauseating. It's sad to see a perfectly good human being waste his precious life and his time trying to get a big windfall in court. Even more sad is the human devastation which comes in the wake of such a suit. Don't get me wrong, if a person has been legitimately damaged by the action of another, the courts are well-suited to keeping us from duelling over the issue the next morning with guns or swords and lots of bloody mess to clean up afterward. There's a thought, though. Maybe if we did so, people would think a lot more seriously about whether or not their issue was all that serious! Something to consider, eh?!
What it all boils down to is this: With great freedom comes great responsibility. Such a very simplistic phrase, fraught with depth and great meaning and well worth any honest treatise.
With that, you see the purpose of this essay. Would that my words could more easily convey my thoughts. Starting with the idea that great freedom brings great responsibility, let's start with my experiences as a MOrmon, growing up in an environment wherein we were told what to think and when. Our responsibility for our thoughts was supplanted quite effectively. The result, of course, was that we could do only whatever we were told to do or not do it. That was the extent of our responsibility. Either do it or don't and if you don't, you're punished for it. Rewards were to come in a future existence.
Of course, we didn't have any real freedom as a result. We only had the choice of A or B. A was to be "good." B was to be "bad." End of story. My father used to tell me, "Yes, you have a choice. You can choose to go to church or you can choose to stay home and clean the house, the yard, the cars, the dogs and then if the rest of the family isn't home yet, you can start all over again." Some choice, eh? Of course, responsibility was limited to getting a whupping if you chose to stay home and sit around reading a favorite stack of comic books instead. Once we learned to fake sick from time to time, we could avoid both at will.
Needless to say, this particular lazy bastard went to church and suffered, probably more, actually.
Look at people who do not attemp to provide for their own retirement. What do you do with such a person? Do you judge them as having been one who "should have known" and should have started working on their retirement at age 21 so they would be financially ready when age 67 1/2 rolled around? I don't know the answer to that question. What I DO know is that if they don't take responsibility for themselves, government steps in with social security to pay the bills. So why should we care? The government will take care of everything! Or so it is said.
In short, the guy doesn't have to be responsible for himself. And guess what? He loses a small amount of freedom. Could he have done better than the government in providing for his retirement? Without a doubt. His level of freedom is reduced by the amount of financial freedom he loses by relying solely on the government to provide. In other words, by giving his responsibility over to the government social security program.
Remember, if you give up responsibility, you give up freedom. Every time you allow the government, religion, your spouse, your parents or teachers to take over responsibility for your existence, you give up some degree of your personal freedom. Ever hear of the guy who's 45 years old and lives at home? Do you think he has freedom for any of the time during which his parents are paying his bills for him? Freedom is lost as responsibility is abdicated and shrivels from disuse. Those who do not willingly take responsibility for their actions amd themselves are a curse to society.
I think this may be one of the reasons gun owners are upset about gun control laws. It's a clear-cut case of the government telling people, "You're not competent enough to take care of the responsibilities of this device so we're going to disallow you this freedom and this responsibility."
Same thing with drug usage. Alcohol consumption. Property rights. Etc. etc. Any time the government tells you you can or cannot do something innocuous, it's a denail of freedom, pure and simple. It's as if government would prefer to take away your freedoms than hold you appropriately responsible for your actions. I wonder why that is.
Always remember, it is not possible to give up responsibility for yourself and retain your freedom. Likewise, if you wish to have great freedom, you must accept great responsibility. Remember that concept when you go to the polls and elect officials who wish to limit your freedoms and your responsibilities. Can you handle the responsibility of putting a roof over your head without the government stepping in with a minimum wage requirement? Or do you believe it's more important to have a job guarantee based on your high-school diploma because you were too lackadaisical about your education and decided to party instead?
Every time you allow someone to make a decision for you, you give up your freedom and responsibility for the action. Those who take your freedom in such a fashion are the most likely to claim that you have the most freedom. Beware this delusion. If you abdicate your responsibility and hand it to another, you run the risk of finding yourself incabable of exercising any particular freedom in your future if for no other reason than simply because you're completely incompetent. Those who allow such things to occur do not understand the connection between freedom and responsibility. Those who would perpetuate the loss of freedoms or responsibilities also may not understand the connection. Think carefully any time you say, "I'll take care of that for you," to another person. You may do them more harm than good.
A valuable note: If you use your freedom irresponsibly, you will lose it. Think about it. If you commit a crime and end up in jail, your freedom is gone. If you fail to go to school, you may find yourself stuck in a desk job and wondering, at age 40, what the hell happened? Wondering why you have no financial freedom and are living from paycheck to paycheck. How depressing. Once lost, your freedoms become difficult to regain. Look forward with clear eyes and protect your future freedoms with your present responsibility.
If you give up your responsibility and freedom willingly, it is a slap in the face to those who gave you your freedom. Think of the veterans who fought for your freedoms. Think of the immigrants who battled their way through obstacles and hardships to get their butts to this country, because it was free, to give their children, your ancestors, the freedom to build a life better than that which was left behind in the old countries.
Those who take responsibility for their actions are the purveyors of freedom for all. Those who seek to blame others for their ills are, in some fashion or another, slaves in their own minds, having given up their freedoms and responsibilities.
Often people seek to get monetary compensation for natural calamities. These people are not free either, though they seem to believe they are. They are slaves to their own "handout" mentality. Such illicitly-gotten money will soon be gone simply because the value of a handout cannot be perceived because of it's ill-gotten nature. People laud the paychecks of sports figures. Baseball, Basketball, Football, etc. etc. Jo DiMaggio once said, "There are no rich men's sons in baseball." Now why do you think that is? Simple: They have no stomach for the effort required to be in baseball. I suspect that also answers the question of why so many of the best baseballers are immigrants from third-world countries.
"Life responds to deserve, not to need." --Jim Rohn. Those who receive without deserving to will soon lose that which they received. The freedom to deserve things carries with it the responsibility to act with care for that which was received. Fortunately, such deserving also carries with it an equivalent sense of responsibility for that which was received. The guy who makes his own chit will take good care of it. Ever give your kid a toy for Christmas and find out it's destroyed an hour or two later and forgotten in a pile of wreckage? How dispappointing is that? Do you have any doubt that if continued, that kind of behavior will continue throughout the child's life? Is there some damage that will occur to the child if they pay for their own car as opposed to you buying it for him?
All too often, people in a free society are deluded into believing that freedom and entitlement are the same thing. This mindset causes a fast erosion of freedoms. There is nothing in the law of nature or of this country which says that healthcare should be given to every person. Every person should be able to work for it, sure. There is no law that says that every person in this country should have a higher education. Only that they should be able to work for it. Does that sound harsh? Again, what's to stop a person from getting an education necessary to command the kind of job which comes with a health benefit? Only his lack of a sense of responsibility.
The American populace in their own free society, has a delusion that Freedom and Entitlement both mean the same thing. They do not. In order for freedom to work, entitlement has to be eliminated. Once again, life responds to deserve, not need. And certainly not to a vaporous concept such as entitlement.
I suppose it could be said, the more responsibility which is accepted by a person, the more free that person will be.
--Wag--
Monday, October 31, 2005
Turning a new leaf
Exactly 9 days ago, an extraordinary event occurred in my life. One which will NEVER happen again.
I turned 40.
You may think to yourself, “Uh, oh. He’s going to talk about the tragedy of it all. The black balloons are coming out!” Well, YOU may not say it but I hear people say it all the time. Rest assured, it’s no tragedy to turn 40.
At first glance, given the assumption that people generally expect to live to about 72 years old, my life could be seen as being more than half over. But I don’t look at it that way. I look at it as just being on the cusp, the very beginning of some wonderful things.
For starters, I didn’t even begin to be more than marginally productive in my life until about the age of 20. After that, I spent the next 10 or 12 years LEARNING how to live life. That brought me to about 32 years old. It was only then I realized I was really starting to get a grip on what life is all about. It was only then I began to be a productive member of society.
And the point?
I feel that now is the first time in my life I might know what I’m doing. The first time I feel, without reservation, that if I put my hand to a project or a task I can accomplish it.
But what about turning 40? Well, my friends, I haven’t turned 40. I’ve turned 8. For the last 8 years, I’ve been preparing for this moment in my life where I can look ahead and see I have 4 more “eights” of years ahead of me. If my personal and professional growth continues as it has in the past “eight” of years, having four more of those “eights” will bring about an extraordinary life for me.
Well, then, what brought about so much change during the past eight years?
I discovered a mentor. This is a man who holds me responsible for myself and my commitments. Many have been the times when I’ve made statements of marvelous plans for my future and my friends have not held me responsible for those plans and neither did I. My newfound mentor has begun to hold me responsible for not only reaching my goals but also for setting worthwhile objectives in the first place. Granted, these are all things which I should have been doing on my own all along, however, I simply did not know how. He taught me how, as well.
By the same token, my mentor sent me to a leadership training seminar at the very beginning of my eight-year emergence from my darkened cocoon. It opened the door to fantastic possibilities and I immediately began to capitalize on those ideas and to learn many more things about human nature, the nature of true leadership and the abilities I have within myself.
But it was more than mere leadership. It was a complete study of how human beings interact and how I interact with others. The value of such lessons can never be understated.
The most key component of my personal growth for the past eight years has been my focused, intentional study of people and relationships between people. I’ve done very well in this particular project of personal development. But as many things as I’ve learned, I’ve also come to realize it’s going to be a lifelong pursuit. I doubt I’ll ever know ALL of the things I could know but I do believe the improvement is ongoing and without end. I expect that if I get the 32 more years I’m hoping to get, I’ll have learned quite a lot.
When I completed the leadership training program, I asked myself, “What’s next?” The answer, of course, was, “Put this all into practice.”
I’m a recluse. A hermit. A loner. More than anything else, I’d rather be at home, sprawled out in ten directions with a book planted firmly on my chest. But that isn’t the kind of thing which builds skill in working with people.
I decided to go to college again. I hadn’t finished much more than three semesters of school and my decision was intended to kill two birds with one stone. One, I’d get a little closer to a degree. Two, and much more importantly, I’d have ample opportunity to relate to other people in an environment which fosters teamwork and interpersonal relationships. Indeed, one of the first classes I took was focused entirely on developing interpersonal relationship and communications skills.
It dovetailed perfectly with the things I had learned in my leadership training class and I did exceptionally well. One of the key things I learned is that where you sit in the classroom has a lot to do with how you focus yourself in the class. Although, I didn’t do a comprehensive study of it, I found that sitting in the exact center of the classroom was ideal for that class. It put me in the middle of every conversation and dialogue and directly in the center of the instructor’s gaze.
It scared me to death! Y’see, I was used to sitting in the very back of the class so nobody would know I was there. The teacher couldn’t see me and I could learn and study and test and never let anyone else be the wiser. Sitting in the middle of a communications skills class was an adventure!
On the other hand, when I took Economics, I sat in the front right corner of the class, and discovered that it gave me my sole option about whether or not to participate in class discussions. If I raised my hand, the teacher would notice. If I sat silently, the teacher would direct her attention to the center of the class and I could pay attention and hear everything which went on in the room. For such a subject matter, it was perfect because I could control the direction of my instruction.
Those are merely a couple of minor observations about the several classes I took. The most important thing I learned, however, was this: being in a social situation such as a classroom presents golden opportunities for personal growth and learning. We learn a lot from books, to be sure, but we learn the most when we are in the middle of a group of people, listening to them, testing ideas with them and discussing our ideas and thoughts with them.
It’s no wonder I’ve learned so much in the last eight years. During this precious period of my life, I’ve spent more time in the company of other people than I ever did in the prior 32 years. No kidding; that’s how much of a hermit I was!
So, as a 40-year old man, I’m poised on the boundary of wonderful things. I have plans, goals and visions which extend far beyond any which have ever been in my life before. I have opportunities which I’ve never encountered before. My confidence is greater than ever before. I’ve searched and found the vision of a life ahead which can be readily accomplished and which will be a reward unto itself.
Indeed, I’m thoroughly excited about my next 4 “eights” of years.
Forty? Hah! It’s a mere beginning!
--Wag--
I turned 40.
You may think to yourself, “Uh, oh. He’s going to talk about the tragedy of it all. The black balloons are coming out!” Well, YOU may not say it but I hear people say it all the time. Rest assured, it’s no tragedy to turn 40.
At first glance, given the assumption that people generally expect to live to about 72 years old, my life could be seen as being more than half over. But I don’t look at it that way. I look at it as just being on the cusp, the very beginning of some wonderful things.
For starters, I didn’t even begin to be more than marginally productive in my life until about the age of 20. After that, I spent the next 10 or 12 years LEARNING how to live life. That brought me to about 32 years old. It was only then I realized I was really starting to get a grip on what life is all about. It was only then I began to be a productive member of society.
And the point?
I feel that now is the first time in my life I might know what I’m doing. The first time I feel, without reservation, that if I put my hand to a project or a task I can accomplish it.
But what about turning 40? Well, my friends, I haven’t turned 40. I’ve turned 8. For the last 8 years, I’ve been preparing for this moment in my life where I can look ahead and see I have 4 more “eights” of years ahead of me. If my personal and professional growth continues as it has in the past “eight” of years, having four more of those “eights” will bring about an extraordinary life for me.
Well, then, what brought about so much change during the past eight years?
I discovered a mentor. This is a man who holds me responsible for myself and my commitments. Many have been the times when I’ve made statements of marvelous plans for my future and my friends have not held me responsible for those plans and neither did I. My newfound mentor has begun to hold me responsible for not only reaching my goals but also for setting worthwhile objectives in the first place. Granted, these are all things which I should have been doing on my own all along, however, I simply did not know how. He taught me how, as well.
By the same token, my mentor sent me to a leadership training seminar at the very beginning of my eight-year emergence from my darkened cocoon. It opened the door to fantastic possibilities and I immediately began to capitalize on those ideas and to learn many more things about human nature, the nature of true leadership and the abilities I have within myself.
But it was more than mere leadership. It was a complete study of how human beings interact and how I interact with others. The value of such lessons can never be understated.
The most key component of my personal growth for the past eight years has been my focused, intentional study of people and relationships between people. I’ve done very well in this particular project of personal development. But as many things as I’ve learned, I’ve also come to realize it’s going to be a lifelong pursuit. I doubt I’ll ever know ALL of the things I could know but I do believe the improvement is ongoing and without end. I expect that if I get the 32 more years I’m hoping to get, I’ll have learned quite a lot.
When I completed the leadership training program, I asked myself, “What’s next?” The answer, of course, was, “Put this all into practice.”
I’m a recluse. A hermit. A loner. More than anything else, I’d rather be at home, sprawled out in ten directions with a book planted firmly on my chest. But that isn’t the kind of thing which builds skill in working with people.
I decided to go to college again. I hadn’t finished much more than three semesters of school and my decision was intended to kill two birds with one stone. One, I’d get a little closer to a degree. Two, and much more importantly, I’d have ample opportunity to relate to other people in an environment which fosters teamwork and interpersonal relationships. Indeed, one of the first classes I took was focused entirely on developing interpersonal relationship and communications skills.
It dovetailed perfectly with the things I had learned in my leadership training class and I did exceptionally well. One of the key things I learned is that where you sit in the classroom has a lot to do with how you focus yourself in the class. Although, I didn’t do a comprehensive study of it, I found that sitting in the exact center of the classroom was ideal for that class. It put me in the middle of every conversation and dialogue and directly in the center of the instructor’s gaze.
It scared me to death! Y’see, I was used to sitting in the very back of the class so nobody would know I was there. The teacher couldn’t see me and I could learn and study and test and never let anyone else be the wiser. Sitting in the middle of a communications skills class was an adventure!
On the other hand, when I took Economics, I sat in the front right corner of the class, and discovered that it gave me my sole option about whether or not to participate in class discussions. If I raised my hand, the teacher would notice. If I sat silently, the teacher would direct her attention to the center of the class and I could pay attention and hear everything which went on in the room. For such a subject matter, it was perfect because I could control the direction of my instruction.
Those are merely a couple of minor observations about the several classes I took. The most important thing I learned, however, was this: being in a social situation such as a classroom presents golden opportunities for personal growth and learning. We learn a lot from books, to be sure, but we learn the most when we are in the middle of a group of people, listening to them, testing ideas with them and discussing our ideas and thoughts with them.
It’s no wonder I’ve learned so much in the last eight years. During this precious period of my life, I’ve spent more time in the company of other people than I ever did in the prior 32 years. No kidding; that’s how much of a hermit I was!
So, as a 40-year old man, I’m poised on the boundary of wonderful things. I have plans, goals and visions which extend far beyond any which have ever been in my life before. I have opportunities which I’ve never encountered before. My confidence is greater than ever before. I’ve searched and found the vision of a life ahead which can be readily accomplished and which will be a reward unto itself.
Indeed, I’m thoroughly excited about my next 4 “eights” of years.
Forty? Hah! It’s a mere beginning!
--Wag--
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Radio interview
I did a radio interview this past Sunday. First time in my life I've ever done a real media "event." Kinda cool, actually.
The link to the media is here: Interview
I thought it went better than expected. For some reason, I had a fear that the interview might turn a little antagonistic but both the host and myself kept our cool in spite of our differences of opinion.
Rather enjoyable experience.
--Wag--
The link to the media is here: Interview
I thought it went better than expected. For some reason, I had a fear that the interview might turn a little antagonistic but both the host and myself kept our cool in spite of our differences of opinion.
Rather enjoyable experience.
--Wag--
Monday, September 26, 2005
". . . Not that there's anything wrong with that."
As you know, I'm an atheist and don't believe in God. However, that doesn't mean I'm entirely opposed to religion, though I don't believe in religion either. If someone wants to believe in a supreme being, more power to them. However, sometimes, people take it to the realm of asinie stupidity, too. I know why: they are being told what to believe from the pulpit and they don't consider for themselves whether or not what they are told has merit in the real world.
I'm not gay but I have gay friends, "not that there's anything wrong with that." (New cliche in the straight world, friends.) I think we're trying not to offend gays for some reason. Maybe they've had enough offense. I'm sure they have, frankly. Some of my gay friends have horrendous stories of their mistreatment at the hands of really macho men who, in some cases, happen to be religious, as well.
That said, I don't oppose the "gay movement" but I don't support it, either except from a viewpoint of treating human beings like, well, like human beings. I'm pretty neutral on the actual subject of "gayness" frankly.
This morning, a very good Christian friend sent me some letters to the editor. Here are some of my thoughts on those letters. The letters are prefaced with "LTE" and my comments are prefaced by "--Wag--".
--Wag--
---------------Begin-----------------
> Three great Letters to the Editor
LTE The American cesspool
As far as I am concerned, there is no mystery at all why the American Civil Liberties Union is trying to get the Ten Commandments removed from all public places. They don't want future generations growing up to have any idea of God's moral code.
The pagan liberals in our society are unwilling to alter their behavior for the sake of anyone, including God and his truth. Their demand for the "freedom" to do anything one darn well pleases regardless of whether it is right or wrong has multiplied the pain in our society so greatly.
--Wag-- Clearly, "right" and "wrong" have not been defined to everyone's satisfaction. That's why we have the wars we do. Also, Pagans are a "to each his own" and "harm no other" kind of people, regardless of the bad press they've received from various religions over the past few millenia. To lump them with liberals does them a disservice and gives liberals more credit than they deserve! (Yes, I still love my liberal friends, too!)
LTE I used to wonder how a society could have become so bad at the time of Sodom and Gomorrah that homosexual bands would go through the streets demanding that strangers in town be released to them for the purpose of homosexual rape. I can see now how a society could decline into that kind of cesspool. I think it's possible that it could happen again in our world.
Marilyn Brenden
--Wag-- Sodom and Gomorrah. Personally, I don't believe the story as being factual, but supposing it were, it was 4,000 years ago or thereabouts, right? Since then, no other cities have been similarly condemned. Also, I'm not seeing a pattern here which would lead me to believe that any such city on earth is in jeopardy of having "homosexual bands" roving the streets demanding sex from anyone. And don't use the gay pride parades as an example of said implied "roving." Those parades are of gays wanting sexual expression with each other, not everyone else.
LTE Agree ... or else!
The homosexual agenda is not equal rights - it's special rights, pure and simple. There is nothing equal to it. Equality allows equal members to disagree. Dictatorship says some people are more special than others.
--Wag-- Affirmative Action is "special rights." The only special rights gays have had over the years is their rights to be tread upon and treated as less than human. In other words, they've had less rights than anyone else for a very long time now.
Anyone who believes that gays are NOT human, raise their hand. Anyone who believes that Jesus' love does not extend to gays, raise your hand. Anyone who believes Buddha or Allah hates gays and thinks of them as nothing more than animals, raise your hand. Get the idea? God isn't hating gays, insofar as I can tell. But certain other people are.
LTE For instance, my relationship with my husband allows me to disagree with him, and him me. I can reject certain of his beliefs, and he won't divorce me for it.
Ask Rolf Szabo how equal he feels to homosexuals now after getting fired from Kodak just because he refused to agree.
The homosexual agenda says, "Agree with our views or else."
Dorothy McGrath
--Wag-- This is the epitome of hypocrisy. I'm amazed that any Christian could even write such a thing and thereby admit that they are blinded by their own absurdity. For as long as I can remember, Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc. have all said, "Believe as we do, or else you're going to burn in hell." It's tantamount to saying, "If you don't believe as we do, god is going to torture you for the rest of forever." I think I can rest my case with Ms. McGrath.
LTE Don't support them
I think the article Joe Kovacs wrote about companies supporting immoral practices was overdue. (I realize you have been reporting on the subject for years.)
I think the best way to fight these policies is to not buy products from companies that support immorality, to not work directly as an employee of such a company, and to invest in companies that only support traditional marriage by their policies.
Brian Wood
--Wag-- Go ahead!!! My prices will go down and though unemployment will go up for a while, it will decrease when self-righteous people have to go to work for evil companies in order to feed and shelter their families.
--Wag-- An anecdote you may appreciate: A friend of mine went to her employer to ask if they had domestic partner benefits, ie., health insurance coverage for her boyfriend. The company said, "Yes, but only if the couple is same-sex." How's that for "reverse discrimination?"
I'm not gay but I have gay friends, "not that there's anything wrong with that." (New cliche in the straight world, friends.) I think we're trying not to offend gays for some reason. Maybe they've had enough offense. I'm sure they have, frankly. Some of my gay friends have horrendous stories of their mistreatment at the hands of really macho men who, in some cases, happen to be religious, as well.
That said, I don't oppose the "gay movement" but I don't support it, either except from a viewpoint of treating human beings like, well, like human beings. I'm pretty neutral on the actual subject of "gayness" frankly.
This morning, a very good Christian friend sent me some letters to the editor. Here are some of my thoughts on those letters. The letters are prefaced with "LTE" and my comments are prefaced by "--Wag--".
--Wag--
---------------Begin-----------------
> Three great Letters to the Editor
LTE The American cesspool
As far as I am concerned, there is no mystery at all why the American Civil Liberties Union is trying to get the Ten Commandments removed from all public places. They don't want future generations growing up to have any idea of God's moral code.
The pagan liberals in our society are unwilling to alter their behavior for the sake of anyone, including God and his truth. Their demand for the "freedom" to do anything one darn well pleases regardless of whether it is right or wrong has multiplied the pain in our society so greatly.
--Wag-- Clearly, "right" and "wrong" have not been defined to everyone's satisfaction. That's why we have the wars we do. Also, Pagans are a "to each his own" and "harm no other" kind of people, regardless of the bad press they've received from various religions over the past few millenia. To lump them with liberals does them a disservice and gives liberals more credit than they deserve! (Yes, I still love my liberal friends, too!)
LTE I used to wonder how a society could have become so bad at the time of Sodom and Gomorrah that homosexual bands would go through the streets demanding that strangers in town be released to them for the purpose of homosexual rape. I can see now how a society could decline into that kind of cesspool. I think it's possible that it could happen again in our world.
Marilyn Brenden
--Wag-- Sodom and Gomorrah. Personally, I don't believe the story as being factual, but supposing it were, it was 4,000 years ago or thereabouts, right? Since then, no other cities have been similarly condemned. Also, I'm not seeing a pattern here which would lead me to believe that any such city on earth is in jeopardy of having "homosexual bands" roving the streets demanding sex from anyone. And don't use the gay pride parades as an example of said implied "roving." Those parades are of gays wanting sexual expression with each other, not everyone else.
LTE Agree ... or else!
The homosexual agenda is not equal rights - it's special rights, pure and simple. There is nothing equal to it. Equality allows equal members to disagree. Dictatorship says some people are more special than others.
--Wag-- Affirmative Action is "special rights." The only special rights gays have had over the years is their rights to be tread upon and treated as less than human. In other words, they've had less rights than anyone else for a very long time now.
Anyone who believes that gays are NOT human, raise their hand. Anyone who believes that Jesus' love does not extend to gays, raise your hand. Anyone who believes Buddha or Allah hates gays and thinks of them as nothing more than animals, raise your hand. Get the idea? God isn't hating gays, insofar as I can tell. But certain other people are.
LTE For instance, my relationship with my husband allows me to disagree with him, and him me. I can reject certain of his beliefs, and he won't divorce me for it.
Ask Rolf Szabo how equal he feels to homosexuals now after getting fired from Kodak just because he refused to agree.
The homosexual agenda says, "Agree with our views or else."
Dorothy McGrath
--Wag-- This is the epitome of hypocrisy. I'm amazed that any Christian could even write such a thing and thereby admit that they are blinded by their own absurdity. For as long as I can remember, Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc. have all said, "Believe as we do, or else you're going to burn in hell." It's tantamount to saying, "If you don't believe as we do, god is going to torture you for the rest of forever." I think I can rest my case with Ms. McGrath.
LTE Don't support them
I think the article Joe Kovacs wrote about companies supporting immoral practices was overdue. (I realize you have been reporting on the subject for years.)
I think the best way to fight these policies is to not buy products from companies that support immorality, to not work directly as an employee of such a company, and to invest in companies that only support traditional marriage by their policies.
Brian Wood
--Wag-- Go ahead!!! My prices will go down and though unemployment will go up for a while, it will decrease when self-righteous people have to go to work for evil companies in order to feed and shelter their families.
--Wag-- An anecdote you may appreciate: A friend of mine went to her employer to ask if they had domestic partner benefits, ie., health insurance coverage for her boyfriend. The company said, "Yes, but only if the couple is same-sex." How's that for "reverse discrimination?"
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Stories of a former Mormon missionary
I posted this on another forum a couple of days ago and it got a good response. Thought y'all might like to read it here.
--Wag--
----------------------------------
I wasn't going to respond to this thread but something M. said suggests that this story might be appropriate here.
My companion and I (I had been on my mission about three months) were teaching a referral. The man was referred by his Mormon wife. She had been inactive for many years but showed up at church one day, at the wrong ward and asked to have the missionaries come and teach her disabled husband. She was white, he was black.
So, we show up a few days later and she invites us in. She was on her way to work and left with a smile and a wave. We sat down with Bob. Yup, that was his name. The house reeked. It was filthy dirty from top to bottom, end to end. Very sad. Bob was, in fact, disabled. We sat there and tried to have a conversation with him. It was impossible, really, but we were able to make him smile a couple of times.
What was his problem, you ask? Bob was an alcoholic. The most extreme case I've ever even heard of, much less seen and I hope to never see it again. I suspect his wife wanted him to get off the booze and figured the Mormon Boys would be especially able to make it happen.
Bob was so badly incapacitated by his alcoholism he couldn't move from his bed. Ever. He had a walker by the bed but he couldn't even use that. Many was the time, we had to sit there and watch Bob sit on the edge of his bed and relieve himself into a bed pan. Frequently, he would miss. He was embarrassed just as much as we were. Bob was never NOT drunk. And I mean, slobbering on himself drunk. 24/7. I kid you not. Seemed to have a good heart but he was difficult to understand for the most part.
My companion, however, was a good guy. Misguided, but a good guy. He felt we could help and he insisted that we go over there every other day. I should confess, we taught a lot of "discussions" to Bob in order to make the mission number counters happy. He would sit there and listen but since we were virtually incapable of talking about anything else anyway, we just ran discussions through his addled brain. Just as well. We generally didn't have much else to do during the day anyway. My companion was constantly trying to figure out how to get Bob to be able to go to church with us. The bedpan was a permanent blockade to that effort, thankfully. Can you imagine him whipping it out during Sacrament Meeting?
One day as we were "teaching" Bob he seemed a little more lucid than usual. My companion, good-hearted fellow that he was, felt "inspired" to give Bob a blessing of healing. We offered but Bob wanted to pray first so we did. My companion prayed, then I prayed, then Bob prayed. Halfway through, he was crying hard and totally emotional. We started to cry with him. We all had a very powerful emotional experience which we promptly labelled "the spirit" for Bob's edification, we being the wisest of the three of us.
Then we gave him a blessing of healing. I annointed and my companion did the honors. Among other things, he pronounced him "healed."
Afterward, Bob, though still fairly sauced, said he didn't want any more booze ever again. We were internally in celebration mode. Bob told us to dump all the booze into the sink which we promptly did while he watched. Being a virgin to booze, the smell was nearly enough to get me drunk! Maybe I was just giddy over the most "spiritual" experience I had ever had in my life. Who knows. We cleaned out the fridge, the cupboards; everything. No booze was left in the house when we were done. Bob even dug out a couple of bottles from under his pillow and said there was one under the mattress he couldn't get. To his credit, there were no other bottles in the bed. We checked.
We left after a couple more hours and made sure Bob had water and juice close at hand. Food as well. He was elated. We were elated. I have little doubt that I wrote about this in my mission journal. I'll have to look when I get home.
The next day, we went over there and for cryin' out loud, Bob was sober still! His wife was there. She was in tears and thanked us and praised god. We all prayed. We started over with the discussions with Bob. His wife went to work. We stayed for a couple of hours. Turns out, Bob was a pretty cool guy and we actually carried on a great conversation with him.
For the next few days, we were at Bob's house, guaranteed, every day. Bob's health improved dramatically and he hadn't used the bed pan in a couple days, at least, not while we were there. We were looking forward to the holy grail of taking him to church. Bob committed to baptism. All was going according to plan. Couldn't have had a more picture-perfect story. He was managing to get around with his walker by himself a little bit for the first time in years. The miracle couldn't be denied. I was convinced that the Mormon church MUST have been true. It was the reason I had gone on a mission.
For several days in a row, we hadn't run into his wife. Her work schedule had changed or we were just getting there later and kept missing her. I don't recall for certain.
One day, after about 10 days, we showed up at the house and Bob was pi$$-drunk. We were astounded. What could possibly have gone wrong? It was the most depressing thing I had seen in my life. From the highest hill on the roller coaster of emotion to the very bottom of the most bottomless pit of depression. We couldn't get anything out of Bob and it was useless to talk to him. He was toasted.
Later, the next Sunday, I believe, the bishop was able to find out what had happened. His wife, for whatever reason, couldn't bear to lose control of her husband in this fashion. For some reason, we think she liked being his boss and making sure she kept him in prison in his bed, unable to move on his own. The previous evening, she had come home with two or three cheap bottles of rot gut whiskey and proceeded to not only get Bob all liquored up but got hammered herself. Then, she took away all his juice and water and food from off the bedstand and left him with nothing but a couple of bottles of booze. Since we hadn't showed up until later in the afternoon, he had had all day to do nothing but be thirsty and hungry with nothing to drink but the bottles by the bed while his wife went to work. I suspect it's a wonder he hadn't died by the time we got there.
The bishop asked us not to go back and that he would send people to do what they could for Bob. We were devastated. To this day, whenever I think of Bob, I wonder if he would have become a Mormon to the end of his days because of "us boys."
A miracle happened in that house. Not from god, I have no doubt. But a lost man found comfort in the friendship of a couple of wet-behind-the-ears Mormon kids and saw a chance at a better life. He had healed himself, I have no doubt.
He was then soundly and decisively destroyed by his evil wife. I have little doubt that Bob didn't survive long after that. His poor liver couldn't have stood the strain. But we never found out.
Do I regret my mission? In some ways, yes. Even if we had been able to get Bob completely off the booze and made him Mormon in the process, I have to believe I would be happy if he were still Mormon these 20 years later. I'd be happy that he had found a means to get his life back from the bottle that stole it from him. I'm sad now that such was not to be. He's probably the only contact we ever made which I still think about with a touch of fondness and sadness at the same time.
There were others who changed their lives, patched up their marriages, began to live more productive lives because we were there to touch them and make them feel like someone cared.
Y'know what, though? I think I've done MORE good for people now that I've gotten out of Mormonism. I've been instrumental in guiding people to the help they have needed for their various problems and in getting out of Mormonism. We all have. We just need to remember that.
Recently, I heard a quote which goes something like, "People without direction in their lives are very susceptible to cults." I think back on my mission and I fealize that is very likely true. We seldom converted or even spoke to people unless they were truly floating along without direction in the stream of life. Every one of them. I don't feel too bad about that now. At least they have SOMEthing, assuming they're still active. I've lost touch with many of them. I hope that if they are still active they are still happy.
One of the families I remember is a complex issue. The bad news is, one girl got married in the temple and had eight kids before she caught her RM husband having an affair with her best friend. THAT is a tragedy I wish I could have prevented by not baptizing her.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't done the mission. But looking back, I have to say that I'm not going to worry too much about it. It's in the past and I can't go back and live the lives for people that they could have lived. All I can do is make sure that from this point forward, I can assist others in getting over their issues, assuming they want it. I just won't be cramming it self-righteously down their throats.
--Wag--
--Wag--
----------------------------------
I wasn't going to respond to this thread but something M. said suggests that this story might be appropriate here.
My companion and I (I had been on my mission about three months) were teaching a referral. The man was referred by his Mormon wife. She had been inactive for many years but showed up at church one day, at the wrong ward and asked to have the missionaries come and teach her disabled husband. She was white, he was black.
So, we show up a few days later and she invites us in. She was on her way to work and left with a smile and a wave. We sat down with Bob. Yup, that was his name. The house reeked. It was filthy dirty from top to bottom, end to end. Very sad. Bob was, in fact, disabled. We sat there and tried to have a conversation with him. It was impossible, really, but we were able to make him smile a couple of times.
What was his problem, you ask? Bob was an alcoholic. The most extreme case I've ever even heard of, much less seen and I hope to never see it again. I suspect his wife wanted him to get off the booze and figured the Mormon Boys would be especially able to make it happen.
Bob was so badly incapacitated by his alcoholism he couldn't move from his bed. Ever. He had a walker by the bed but he couldn't even use that. Many was the time, we had to sit there and watch Bob sit on the edge of his bed and relieve himself into a bed pan. Frequently, he would miss. He was embarrassed just as much as we were. Bob was never NOT drunk. And I mean, slobbering on himself drunk. 24/7. I kid you not. Seemed to have a good heart but he was difficult to understand for the most part.
My companion, however, was a good guy. Misguided, but a good guy. He felt we could help and he insisted that we go over there every other day. I should confess, we taught a lot of "discussions" to Bob in order to make the mission number counters happy. He would sit there and listen but since we were virtually incapable of talking about anything else anyway, we just ran discussions through his addled brain. Just as well. We generally didn't have much else to do during the day anyway. My companion was constantly trying to figure out how to get Bob to be able to go to church with us. The bedpan was a permanent blockade to that effort, thankfully. Can you imagine him whipping it out during Sacrament Meeting?
One day as we were "teaching" Bob he seemed a little more lucid than usual. My companion, good-hearted fellow that he was, felt "inspired" to give Bob a blessing of healing. We offered but Bob wanted to pray first so we did. My companion prayed, then I prayed, then Bob prayed. Halfway through, he was crying hard and totally emotional. We started to cry with him. We all had a very powerful emotional experience which we promptly labelled "the spirit" for Bob's edification, we being the wisest of the three of us.
Then we gave him a blessing of healing. I annointed and my companion did the honors. Among other things, he pronounced him "healed."
Afterward, Bob, though still fairly sauced, said he didn't want any more booze ever again. We were internally in celebration mode. Bob told us to dump all the booze into the sink which we promptly did while he watched. Being a virgin to booze, the smell was nearly enough to get me drunk! Maybe I was just giddy over the most "spiritual" experience I had ever had in my life. Who knows. We cleaned out the fridge, the cupboards; everything. No booze was left in the house when we were done. Bob even dug out a couple of bottles from under his pillow and said there was one under the mattress he couldn't get. To his credit, there were no other bottles in the bed. We checked.
We left after a couple more hours and made sure Bob had water and juice close at hand. Food as well. He was elated. We were elated. I have little doubt that I wrote about this in my mission journal. I'll have to look when I get home.
The next day, we went over there and for cryin' out loud, Bob was sober still! His wife was there. She was in tears and thanked us and praised god. We all prayed. We started over with the discussions with Bob. His wife went to work. We stayed for a couple of hours. Turns out, Bob was a pretty cool guy and we actually carried on a great conversation with him.
For the next few days, we were at Bob's house, guaranteed, every day. Bob's health improved dramatically and he hadn't used the bed pan in a couple days, at least, not while we were there. We were looking forward to the holy grail of taking him to church. Bob committed to baptism. All was going according to plan. Couldn't have had a more picture-perfect story. He was managing to get around with his walker by himself a little bit for the first time in years. The miracle couldn't be denied. I was convinced that the Mormon church MUST have been true. It was the reason I had gone on a mission.
For several days in a row, we hadn't run into his wife. Her work schedule had changed or we were just getting there later and kept missing her. I don't recall for certain.
One day, after about 10 days, we showed up at the house and Bob was pi$$-drunk. We were astounded. What could possibly have gone wrong? It was the most depressing thing I had seen in my life. From the highest hill on the roller coaster of emotion to the very bottom of the most bottomless pit of depression. We couldn't get anything out of Bob and it was useless to talk to him. He was toasted.
Later, the next Sunday, I believe, the bishop was able to find out what had happened. His wife, for whatever reason, couldn't bear to lose control of her husband in this fashion. For some reason, we think she liked being his boss and making sure she kept him in prison in his bed, unable to move on his own. The previous evening, she had come home with two or three cheap bottles of rot gut whiskey and proceeded to not only get Bob all liquored up but got hammered herself. Then, she took away all his juice and water and food from off the bedstand and left him with nothing but a couple of bottles of booze. Since we hadn't showed up until later in the afternoon, he had had all day to do nothing but be thirsty and hungry with nothing to drink but the bottles by the bed while his wife went to work. I suspect it's a wonder he hadn't died by the time we got there.
The bishop asked us not to go back and that he would send people to do what they could for Bob. We were devastated. To this day, whenever I think of Bob, I wonder if he would have become a Mormon to the end of his days because of "us boys."
A miracle happened in that house. Not from god, I have no doubt. But a lost man found comfort in the friendship of a couple of wet-behind-the-ears Mormon kids and saw a chance at a better life. He had healed himself, I have no doubt.
He was then soundly and decisively destroyed by his evil wife. I have little doubt that Bob didn't survive long after that. His poor liver couldn't have stood the strain. But we never found out.
Do I regret my mission? In some ways, yes. Even if we had been able to get Bob completely off the booze and made him Mormon in the process, I have to believe I would be happy if he were still Mormon these 20 years later. I'd be happy that he had found a means to get his life back from the bottle that stole it from him. I'm sad now that such was not to be. He's probably the only contact we ever made which I still think about with a touch of fondness and sadness at the same time.
There were others who changed their lives, patched up their marriages, began to live more productive lives because we were there to touch them and make them feel like someone cared.
Y'know what, though? I think I've done MORE good for people now that I've gotten out of Mormonism. I've been instrumental in guiding people to the help they have needed for their various problems and in getting out of Mormonism. We all have. We just need to remember that.
Recently, I heard a quote which goes something like, "People without direction in their lives are very susceptible to cults." I think back on my mission and I fealize that is very likely true. We seldom converted or even spoke to people unless they were truly floating along without direction in the stream of life. Every one of them. I don't feel too bad about that now. At least they have SOMEthing, assuming they're still active. I've lost touch with many of them. I hope that if they are still active they are still happy.
One of the families I remember is a complex issue. The bad news is, one girl got married in the temple and had eight kids before she caught her RM husband having an affair with her best friend. THAT is a tragedy I wish I could have prevented by not baptizing her.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn't done the mission. But looking back, I have to say that I'm not going to worry too much about it. It's in the past and I can't go back and live the lives for people that they could have lived. All I can do is make sure that from this point forward, I can assist others in getting over their issues, assuming they want it. I just won't be cramming it self-righteously down their throats.
--Wag--
Monday, September 19, 2005
Preachings of an atheist
Okay, you Christian hypocrites, listen up: (If you're not a true hypocrite, this will prove to be merely entertaining. Enjoy!)
Start by reading Matthew Chapter 6, verses 1 through 6.
Basically, for those of you who don't care enough to look it up and read it, it says, and I paraphrase, "don't do good things to be seen of men, do it in secret." Period. End of story.
So why, oh, why do we see so many people from Christian groups spending so much time on T.V. seeking their 5 minutes of fame for all of their generosity with disaster victims? Happens every time there's a disaster. Why don't they follow the advice of Jesus and keep it to themselves and do some good?
Don't get me wrong, I believe they need to publicize the good they do but do they have to say just how wonderfully Christian they are while they're doing it? Bear in mind that every hypocritical thing that Christians do just makes them all that much more suspect.
Shut up, already! It's getting nauseating!
(To those of you Christians who are NOT hypocrites, this article should just be a conviction to you that you're doing the right thing already. YOU people have my respect for your decency and your integrity. Carry on and keep doing the good for which you are NOT getting credit. Except for the promise in Matt 6:1-6, of course! ;-) )
What brought about this diatribe, you ask? I got this next piece in an e-mail from a friend this morning. My friend is a great guy and I appreciate him sending me these things. You decide if I'm over reacting:
This morning's e-mail in its entirety ----------------
This was written by a man who is a survivor of the hurricane. A little different twist on what we have been hearing in the media.
To my friends and family:
What I have seen since Katrina:
The poor and the wealthy hurt by the storm.
Black, White, Hispanic, Oriental and Indian all hurt by the storm.
Christian people giving, giving, giving.
Churches going all out to minister in Jesus' name.
Neighbors going door to door helping one another.
Thugs and hoodlums going door to door looking for someone vunerable.
Ice and water being fought over as police tried to keep the peace.
People coming up from New Orleans taking over empty houses because shelters are full.
Out of town volunteers coming with food and staying for now a week still serving it.
The Churches all over this part of the country doing what people do in a crisis.
FEMA doing a wonderful job in getting help to us.
The Red Cross doing a great job in the shelters.
The Salvation Army doing a great job in the community.
Four hundred crewmen from everywhere bring back the power to our homes, churches and businesses.
Lines at service stations a block to a mile long.
National Guardsman patroling the streets of McComb along with Kentucky policemen protecting us from the hoodlums and thugs of McComb, Pike County and New Orleans (the most dangerous city in the world before Katrina.)
Drug dealers working outside shelters.
Doctors, nurses and other hospital personnel working tirelessly, even sleepingin the hospital to do the job God called them to do.
WHAT I HAVE NOT SEEN
The ACLU setting up a feeding line.
People for the American Way helping in the shelters.
The NAACP doing any work whatsover.
The American Atheist organization serving meals in the shelters.
Jesse Jackson directing traffic at the gas stations.
I could go on but you get my message. It's the people with love and compassion who do the work.
The gripers in Congress should come on down and get in line to pass the water and the ice. Are you listening Hillary, Chuck, Teddy and all the sorry loafers we call Senators and Congressmen? They don't have a clue as to what this life is all about here on the Gulf Coast.
Boy I feel better now.
end of e-mail ---------
Now, read this next bit. From an atheist friend of mine, no less. (Strangely, I never knew he was an atheist until this very exchange.) Background: he and one of his friends rounded up all their friends and collected a bunch of contributions of goods and money. They they loaded it into their their R.V. and drove down toward New Orleans to donate it to people who need it. This story is their report back to those of us who contributed. It deserves to be told everywhere which is why I put it up here for starters.
(Identifying comments have been removed, obvious typos fixed.)
Trip log from C.
Where do I even begin... There are so many little stories from the trip, trying to formulate them into semi-interesting reading is proving difficult. I'll start with some snippets.
We set out to meet T. of the World Youth Federation in Baton Rouge, LA.
You cannot stuff as much into a 31' RV as you can a 25' travel trailer, no matter how hard you try. It IS possible to load an RV with so much weight the rear bumper drags the ground. We had so much stuff to take, we had to leave stuff behind!
Driving 1,900 miles with barely an hour's sleep is never a good idea! When you start "seeing things" in the shadows, while driving through the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, it's time to stop! Speaking of Texas, the speed limit is 75mph, unless it's after dark, then it's 65mph. Just to make sure no good deed goes unpunished, I got a ticket at 1:37am for 81mph in an (after dark) 65 zone.
Aside from many long hours and miles, the drive to Baton Rouge was an easy one. We arrived noon-ish Tuesday.
New Orleans: We were not able to get into N.O. due to being under National Guard lockdown. Baton Rouge is on the outskirts and is now the base of operations for the area.
We saw huge parks filled with tent and canopy cities of law enforcment from around the country. Another park filled with the military and national guard headquarters, and landing pads for the daily missions of blackhawk helicopters. Other parks had been filled with utility workers from all over, representing power, gas, telephone and construction to get the city back on it's feet. Hundreds of thousands of people all working on rebuilding the city.
We also saw the tent cities of the now homeless. It sounds cliche' and you hear it on the news everyday, but until you sit and talk with someone, the words never sink in.
"Lost everything" or "The clothes on their backs"
How many times have you heard these things and never thought twice about it. We talked to people, families, and those with extended familes who managed to survive by loading up the family in the car and heading for safety. The storm or subsequent flooding destroyed these people's belongings. Literally the only thing they have left is the clothes on their backs. In some cases, their place of employment is gone, the banks are in shambles, and the pharmacy system is in chaos. These people have not only lost everything but can not GET anything because of the disaster. The bigger chain stores that survived are now empty unless you're looking for plastic flowers and picture frames.
We met people too proud to "take a handout" but also those moved to tears at our generosity. I could never imagine a grown man crying at receiving some old clothes I'll never wear again or over military rations that don't even taste that good. But if you have nothing, ANYTHING is something!
I listened to one man tell me how one wall of his house was found six blocks away and another wall was four blocks away in the other direction. Everything was lost and he agreed replaceable, except for some of his tools that had been handed down for three generations. "Those are irreplaceable"
The System:
The Good: I witnessed convoys of mobile (pre-fabricated) housing sometimes dozens in a row, rolling down highways and streets in Baton Rouge. Also convoys of travel trailers all heading to one staging point. There is an area that contained thousands of temporary homes for the residents now displaced because of the hurricane. We saw some (out of perhaps hundreds) of the shelters set up to aid people now homeless.
We saw FEMA, Red Cross, Salvation Army, E.P.A. (Environmental Protection Agency) National Guard, military, police from around the nation, insurance agencies, all the major utility companies and way too many other organizations to list. Suffice it to say: The gang's all there.
The Bad: I won't name organizations, but I will share some of their shortcomings: this info does not come from the media, or heresay, but things I saw for myself, or was told directly from the people who experienced it.
If you do not register and occupy certain shelters, you may not recieve goods, services or handouts of any kind from that organization. Many of the shelters do not have a "come and go" policy, so once inside, you may not leave.
We spoke to a woman who has two children and tried to get a few clothing items for her kids. Because she was not staying at the shelter, they physically removed the clothing from her hand.
Another organization was kind enough to dump a huge load of clothing into a parking lot. Unfortunately it rained and the clothes became muddy, dirty and moldy. I will post pictures of a bulldozer pushing the mound of clothes to the curb along with the rubble of buildings, as the clothes are now unuseable.
Organizations and shelters only help a small segment of the population. There are still hundreds of thousands who cannot reach the shelters or refuse to live in them.
I can hardly blame them, with the muggings, rapes, murders and molestations it hardly sounds appealing to stay confined with hundreds of people in a small space. This is not the case for every shelter, but the stories I've heard of some . . . . How do you choose where it's safe, rovided you have the means to get there?
There are no major organizations offering aid to the people living in tent cities, at camp grounds, hotels, or are in parking lots.
I am speaking of the large, well-known organizations that everybody donates money or goods to.
Our problem:
We had an RV stuffed to the seams with food, clothing, books & toys, toiletries etc. But alot of it was unsorted and stuffed in boxes and plastic bags. After seeing the horrors of the so called "disaster relief organizations" delivering our donations to them was NOT an option. We wanted to make sure our goods did some good. That they'd go to the people that needed them. That we could reach those overlooked.
The bigger problem was we had not the time or space to unload, sort and hand deliver everything we had. Wednesday we went to one place that helps the elderly and delivered some military rations (food) and water. We went to a tent city, and later returned with some food and clothes. We also went to a hotel that had a banquet room set up for people to come in and get what they needed.
We also took things to different locations. (ie. if one place had too many men's clothes, we'd take it to a place that had none. Or if there were no infants at one location, yet they had clothing, we'd deliver it to places with kids.)
Thursday morning we had hardly touched the RV packed with stuff. As we sat at breakfast T. (from the World Youth Federation) got a phone call.
Pascagoula, Mississippi was severly hit by the hurricane. Yet they have had no outside assitance whatsoever. "LET'S GO!"
It took about two and a half hours to drive there and along the way we witnessed the hurricane's devastation. Not the flooding like New Orleans had received, but the damage caused by gale force winds. Metal billboards and street signs twisted like pretzels, buildings demolished, a Lowes missing a front and a Home Depot without a roof. A yacht sitting in a tree hundreds of yards from water. Trees snapped like pretzels and those that had fallen on homes and cars. On and on for miles and miles.
We were beaming at the thought of being "first in" to offer assitance. No Red Cross, No FEMA. US! On the way we were passed by Airforce One. Bush was surveying the area, and was expected to be on the ground when we got there. (Never saw him though) OK, so Bush beat us there... but only 'cause he had a plane.
Arriving into town we hit heavy traffic and non-working traffic lights.
The city of Pascagoula, Miss. was so excited about "the folks from California, with an RV filled with stuff" we were bringing they gave us A LIGHTS AND SIRENS ESCORT!
If there were ever any question of "why" in my mind, this ended all doubt. These people were so appreciative of our efforts, they parted the sea of traffic, and ran us through intersections so we could get there and deliver our donations!!!
This was a perfect win/win for us and Pascagoula. We unloaded the RV at the fire/EMS station. In talking to the crew, all but one had lost everything and there were several not there at the time that had nothing left as well.
Many of them were now living at the station. They were going to take just what they needed, then load up the ambulances and go into the area's hardest hit and deliver food, water and clothing to those who needed them.
We saw the fire chief shed a tear at our generosity and the smiles on the young kids faces as we gave them toys to play with. We have life long friends at the Acadian EMS station.
In following with the trend and hearing how we've been taking things to those in need, they loaded us up with pallets of MRE's (rations) and water. They had enough and wanted us to take them where needed.
I was really getting tired of loading and unloading the RV but it's for the cause.
We left Baton Rouge Friday morning for the long trek back and got home around 9pm last night. Exhausted!
Would I go back? Yes. There are still so many people who need help, and so many things that need to be done, I feel like I've abandoned them.
Who's going to fix old man so-n-so's holes in the floor of the trailer someone gave him to live in? Who's going to get the medication for the elderly woman? Who's going to help the single mother with two kids get to family living in another state?
For anyone who wonders "What good can I do" or "Why make all the effort" read these stories carefully. Know that my words can in no way explain the gratitude given, or the elation of helping. Know that there were many other stories I haven't written yet.
Ride'on,
Signed,
C. (made a difference)
----------------------------
Comment from M:
Someone told him (C.) that he was earning his wings. We concluded we had just gotten started on filing down his horns!!!
It was an amazing trip and I wish we could have stayed longer as there is so much more "we" could have done. Just a couple of people who want to help out.
I know C. won't say it but I will.
If you are still looking to donate PLEASE look at the organization carefully and realize when that when that crimson colored addition sign says help now, they mean you donate now and they will help weeks from now when they get their act together and are done "sorting".
It is amazing and sad how many people are still in need and overlooked by many of these organizations. We have heard in a disaster who is there to help; they have a lot of short comings. I am amazed they have gone this long. People across the nation are hearing about how they are letting the people down time and time again.
I am glad we went. I wish we could have stayed longer. It is an awesome feeling to know that you made a difference.
Another couple of notes: C. pulls off the redneck look really WELL (it is scary). Somewhere in AZ someone thinks i am C.'s MOM (cuz he told them that). I can relate a Christmas song to almost anything. We have an official name for our disaster relief team.
pictures and more to follow.
------------------------------
And now, a follow-up that I wrote back to C. and the group:
Holy smoke, you guys. Me too. I'm also proud beyond pride's ultimate size to be able to say I know who you are.
When was the last time you saw a 6'4" 260lb man brought to tears in his office in the middle of the day? I had to close my office door just to make sure I didn't spoil my image. You moved me to tears, C.! I consider it an honor that you were able to make that trip and take a part of us with you. I can't remember the last time I was touched so deeply.
If you make another trip, let me know. I don't think I have any more clothing or anything to send but as they say, Cash is King. We'll put something together for you somehow.
Thanks, most of all, for the tip on the big "charitable" organizations and their dismal failure to do any good whatsoever. I read an article earlier today suggesting that many many many good Christian churches were helping and doing so much good for the people in the devastated areas. The guy complained that the atheists and various others weren't doing diddly-squat.
I hope that guy doesn't benefit from this atheist's contribution or those of his atheist friends, whoever they may be. Well, not really, but I'm blown away by the blatant manipulative demeanor of that kind of utter misguided arrogance. Give him some food and tell him to go and fu . . . . Well, better not.
What's good is good and will care for itself. Prayers don't help, wishful thinking doesn't help, radio ads don't help; nothing helps but the people doing what YOU did. What WE did as a club.
Damm. More tears. Damm you C.! for being so generous and eloquent and bringing me into this with you.
It's tough to say but I'll say it anyway, I love ya, you bastard!
--Wag--
C.'s comments back to me:
Wag...
It's very humbling to bring a grown man to tears. Whether it's from recanting of stories, or by merely handing him a pair of Nike's. I have always helped people, but never anything near this magnitude. It's one thing to help someone with some loose change and get a thanks, another to give a man who has nothing something, and get a tear filled hug.
In all honesty I didn't do much. Gathered up some stuff we (a collective "we") no longer needed, loaded it up and drove back East. It required very little sacrifice or energy on my part. Yet to some people it meant the world, it meant life.
Anyway, I am also an atheist but kindly returned the "god bless you's" with Thank you's. I will not scoff at the belief's of others, no matter my personal beliefs. One night I was talking to The Mrs., telling her of the day's events and happened to say "She said god bless you, er some shit"... Now M. overheard this, and she's Catholic. So the rest of the trip we recited "God bless you... er some shit" and couldn't help but chuckle whenever someone else "blessed" me.
Thank you for the kind words and allowing me to help others. I couldn't have done it with out the charity of you and everyone else who helped the cause. I felt partly ashamed at being able to receive the gratitude for something I only played part in. Know that I made mention of the club that backed me to make it possible, and that everyone wished I would extend the thank you's to everyone involved. Yet I could never do the sentiment justice.
Thank you.
and quit yer blabberin ya big cry baby!!! heh heh To quote an old Irish saying... "A tear is a smile we've all lost"... er some shit like that.
C.
And my reply back to him.
For some reason, people think atheists are evil. So be it. The funny thing is, Christians have a tendency to be the more hypocritical of all people if only because they don't care to read Matthew 6:1-6 which says, in a nutshell, "if you do charity, don't do it for the view of men." Yeah, I was raised in a cult religion and used to know this shit inside out and backwards.
Enough of that, however. I was going to send you a big huge diatribe from someone claiming that he didn't see any atheists helping out down there but why waste the time? The atheists are simply the only ones not advertising their presence and trying to accrue to themselves a whole bunch of recognition for their "wonderfulness."
Now I'm laughing myself to tears! :D
In any case, I'm glad I could help. If you get a wild hair to go back with another load, hit me up for some gas money at least. I'd be more than happy to help. I think I have a couple more boxes of MRE's somewhere that I'll part with.
You're a credit to the human race. I suppose I have to start believing in humanity again instead of being so cynical about everyone! heheheh.
Cheers!
--Wag--
Start by reading Matthew Chapter 6, verses 1 through 6.
Basically, for those of you who don't care enough to look it up and read it, it says, and I paraphrase, "don't do good things to be seen of men, do it in secret." Period. End of story.
So why, oh, why do we see so many people from Christian groups spending so much time on T.V. seeking their 5 minutes of fame for all of their generosity with disaster victims? Happens every time there's a disaster. Why don't they follow the advice of Jesus and keep it to themselves and do some good?
Don't get me wrong, I believe they need to publicize the good they do but do they have to say just how wonderfully Christian they are while they're doing it? Bear in mind that every hypocritical thing that Christians do just makes them all that much more suspect.
Shut up, already! It's getting nauseating!
(To those of you Christians who are NOT hypocrites, this article should just be a conviction to you that you're doing the right thing already. YOU people have my respect for your decency and your integrity. Carry on and keep doing the good for which you are NOT getting credit. Except for the promise in Matt 6:1-6, of course! ;-) )
What brought about this diatribe, you ask? I got this next piece in an e-mail from a friend this morning. My friend is a great guy and I appreciate him sending me these things. You decide if I'm over reacting:
This morning's e-mail in its entirety ----------------
This was written by a man who is a survivor of the hurricane. A little different twist on what we have been hearing in the media.
To my friends and family:
What I have seen since Katrina:
The poor and the wealthy hurt by the storm.
Black, White, Hispanic, Oriental and Indian all hurt by the storm.
Christian people giving, giving, giving.
Churches going all out to minister in Jesus' name.
Neighbors going door to door helping one another.
Thugs and hoodlums going door to door looking for someone vunerable.
Ice and water being fought over as police tried to keep the peace.
People coming up from New Orleans taking over empty houses because shelters are full.
Out of town volunteers coming with food and staying for now a week still serving it.
The Churches all over this part of the country doing what people do in a crisis.
FEMA doing a wonderful job in getting help to us.
The Red Cross doing a great job in the shelters.
The Salvation Army doing a great job in the community.
Four hundred crewmen from everywhere bring back the power to our homes, churches and businesses.
Lines at service stations a block to a mile long.
National Guardsman patroling the streets of McComb along with Kentucky policemen protecting us from the hoodlums and thugs of McComb, Pike County and New Orleans (the most dangerous city in the world before Katrina.)
Drug dealers working outside shelters.
Doctors, nurses and other hospital personnel working tirelessly, even sleepingin the hospital to do the job God called them to do.
WHAT I HAVE NOT SEEN
The ACLU setting up a feeding line.
People for the American Way helping in the shelters.
The NAACP doing any work whatsover.
The American Atheist organization serving meals in the shelters.
Jesse Jackson directing traffic at the gas stations.
I could go on but you get my message. It's the people with love and compassion who do the work.
The gripers in Congress should come on down and get in line to pass the water and the ice. Are you listening Hillary, Chuck, Teddy and all the sorry loafers we call Senators and Congressmen? They don't have a clue as to what this life is all about here on the Gulf Coast.
Boy I feel better now.
end of e-mail ---------
Now, read this next bit. From an atheist friend of mine, no less. (Strangely, I never knew he was an atheist until this very exchange.) Background: he and one of his friends rounded up all their friends and collected a bunch of contributions of goods and money. They they loaded it into their their R.V. and drove down toward New Orleans to donate it to people who need it. This story is their report back to those of us who contributed. It deserves to be told everywhere which is why I put it up here for starters.
(Identifying comments have been removed, obvious typos fixed.)
Trip log from C.
Where do I even begin... There are so many little stories from the trip, trying to formulate them into semi-interesting reading is proving difficult. I'll start with some snippets.
We set out to meet T. of the World Youth Federation in Baton Rouge, LA.
You cannot stuff as much into a 31' RV as you can a 25' travel trailer, no matter how hard you try. It IS possible to load an RV with so much weight the rear bumper drags the ground. We had so much stuff to take, we had to leave stuff behind!
Driving 1,900 miles with barely an hour's sleep is never a good idea! When you start "seeing things" in the shadows, while driving through the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, it's time to stop! Speaking of Texas, the speed limit is 75mph, unless it's after dark, then it's 65mph. Just to make sure no good deed goes unpunished, I got a ticket at 1:37am for 81mph in an (after dark) 65 zone.
Aside from many long hours and miles, the drive to Baton Rouge was an easy one. We arrived noon-ish Tuesday.
New Orleans: We were not able to get into N.O. due to being under National Guard lockdown. Baton Rouge is on the outskirts and is now the base of operations for the area.
We saw huge parks filled with tent and canopy cities of law enforcment from around the country. Another park filled with the military and national guard headquarters, and landing pads for the daily missions of blackhawk helicopters. Other parks had been filled with utility workers from all over, representing power, gas, telephone and construction to get the city back on it's feet. Hundreds of thousands of people all working on rebuilding the city.
We also saw the tent cities of the now homeless. It sounds cliche' and you hear it on the news everyday, but until you sit and talk with someone, the words never sink in.
"Lost everything" or "The clothes on their backs"
How many times have you heard these things and never thought twice about it. We talked to people, families, and those with extended familes who managed to survive by loading up the family in the car and heading for safety. The storm or subsequent flooding destroyed these people's belongings. Literally the only thing they have left is the clothes on their backs. In some cases, their place of employment is gone, the banks are in shambles, and the pharmacy system is in chaos. These people have not only lost everything but can not GET anything because of the disaster. The bigger chain stores that survived are now empty unless you're looking for plastic flowers and picture frames.
We met people too proud to "take a handout" but also those moved to tears at our generosity. I could never imagine a grown man crying at receiving some old clothes I'll never wear again or over military rations that don't even taste that good. But if you have nothing, ANYTHING is something!
I listened to one man tell me how one wall of his house was found six blocks away and another wall was four blocks away in the other direction. Everything was lost and he agreed replaceable, except for some of his tools that had been handed down for three generations. "Those are irreplaceable"
The System:
The Good: I witnessed convoys of mobile (pre-fabricated) housing sometimes dozens in a row, rolling down highways and streets in Baton Rouge. Also convoys of travel trailers all heading to one staging point. There is an area that contained thousands of temporary homes for the residents now displaced because of the hurricane. We saw some (out of perhaps hundreds) of the shelters set up to aid people now homeless.
We saw FEMA, Red Cross, Salvation Army, E.P.A. (Environmental Protection Agency) National Guard, military, police from around the nation, insurance agencies, all the major utility companies and way too many other organizations to list. Suffice it to say: The gang's all there.
The Bad: I won't name organizations, but I will share some of their shortcomings: this info does not come from the media, or heresay, but things I saw for myself, or was told directly from the people who experienced it.
If you do not register and occupy certain shelters, you may not recieve goods, services or handouts of any kind from that organization. Many of the shelters do not have a "come and go" policy, so once inside, you may not leave.
We spoke to a woman who has two children and tried to get a few clothing items for her kids. Because she was not staying at the shelter, they physically removed the clothing from her hand.
Another organization was kind enough to dump a huge load of clothing into a parking lot. Unfortunately it rained and the clothes became muddy, dirty and moldy. I will post pictures of a bulldozer pushing the mound of clothes to the curb along with the rubble of buildings, as the clothes are now unuseable.
Organizations and shelters only help a small segment of the population. There are still hundreds of thousands who cannot reach the shelters or refuse to live in them.
I can hardly blame them, with the muggings, rapes, murders and molestations it hardly sounds appealing to stay confined with hundreds of people in a small space. This is not the case for every shelter, but the stories I've heard of some . . . . How do you choose where it's safe, rovided you have the means to get there?
There are no major organizations offering aid to the people living in tent cities, at camp grounds, hotels, or are in parking lots.
I am speaking of the large, well-known organizations that everybody donates money or goods to.
Our problem:
We had an RV stuffed to the seams with food, clothing, books & toys, toiletries etc. But alot of it was unsorted and stuffed in boxes and plastic bags. After seeing the horrors of the so called "disaster relief organizations" delivering our donations to them was NOT an option. We wanted to make sure our goods did some good. That they'd go to the people that needed them. That we could reach those overlooked.
The bigger problem was we had not the time or space to unload, sort and hand deliver everything we had. Wednesday we went to one place that helps the elderly and delivered some military rations (food) and water. We went to a tent city, and later returned with some food and clothes. We also went to a hotel that had a banquet room set up for people to come in and get what they needed.
We also took things to different locations. (ie. if one place had too many men's clothes, we'd take it to a place that had none. Or if there were no infants at one location, yet they had clothing, we'd deliver it to places with kids.)
Thursday morning we had hardly touched the RV packed with stuff. As we sat at breakfast T. (from the World Youth Federation) got a phone call.
Pascagoula, Mississippi was severly hit by the hurricane. Yet they have had no outside assitance whatsoever. "LET'S GO!"
It took about two and a half hours to drive there and along the way we witnessed the hurricane's devastation. Not the flooding like New Orleans had received, but the damage caused by gale force winds. Metal billboards and street signs twisted like pretzels, buildings demolished, a Lowes missing a front and a Home Depot without a roof. A yacht sitting in a tree hundreds of yards from water. Trees snapped like pretzels and those that had fallen on homes and cars. On and on for miles and miles.
We were beaming at the thought of being "first in" to offer assitance. No Red Cross, No FEMA. US! On the way we were passed by Airforce One. Bush was surveying the area, and was expected to be on the ground when we got there. (Never saw him though) OK, so Bush beat us there... but only 'cause he had a plane.
Arriving into town we hit heavy traffic and non-working traffic lights.
The city of Pascagoula, Miss. was so excited about "the folks from California, with an RV filled with stuff" we were bringing they gave us A LIGHTS AND SIRENS ESCORT!
If there were ever any question of "why" in my mind, this ended all doubt. These people were so appreciative of our efforts, they parted the sea of traffic, and ran us through intersections so we could get there and deliver our donations!!!
This was a perfect win/win for us and Pascagoula. We unloaded the RV at the fire/EMS station. In talking to the crew, all but one had lost everything and there were several not there at the time that had nothing left as well.
Many of them were now living at the station. They were going to take just what they needed, then load up the ambulances and go into the area's hardest hit and deliver food, water and clothing to those who needed them.
We saw the fire chief shed a tear at our generosity and the smiles on the young kids faces as we gave them toys to play with. We have life long friends at the Acadian EMS station.
In following with the trend and hearing how we've been taking things to those in need, they loaded us up with pallets of MRE's (rations) and water. They had enough and wanted us to take them where needed.
I was really getting tired of loading and unloading the RV but it's for the cause.
We left Baton Rouge Friday morning for the long trek back and got home around 9pm last night. Exhausted!
Would I go back? Yes. There are still so many people who need help, and so many things that need to be done, I feel like I've abandoned them.
Who's going to fix old man so-n-so's holes in the floor of the trailer someone gave him to live in? Who's going to get the medication for the elderly woman? Who's going to help the single mother with two kids get to family living in another state?
For anyone who wonders "What good can I do" or "Why make all the effort" read these stories carefully. Know that my words can in no way explain the gratitude given, or the elation of helping. Know that there were many other stories I haven't written yet.
Ride'on,
Signed,
C. (made a difference)
----------------------------
Comment from M:
Someone told him (C.) that he was earning his wings. We concluded we had just gotten started on filing down his horns!!!
It was an amazing trip and I wish we could have stayed longer as there is so much more "we" could have done. Just a couple of people who want to help out.
I know C. won't say it but I will.
If you are still looking to donate PLEASE look at the organization carefully and realize when that when that crimson colored addition sign says help now, they mean you donate now and they will help weeks from now when they get their act together and are done "sorting".
It is amazing and sad how many people are still in need and overlooked by many of these organizations. We have heard in a disaster who is there to help; they have a lot of short comings. I am amazed they have gone this long. People across the nation are hearing about how they are letting the people down time and time again.
I am glad we went. I wish we could have stayed longer. It is an awesome feeling to know that you made a difference.
Another couple of notes: C. pulls off the redneck look really WELL (it is scary). Somewhere in AZ someone thinks i am C.'s MOM (cuz he told them that). I can relate a Christmas song to almost anything. We have an official name for our disaster relief team.
pictures and more to follow.
------------------------------
And now, a follow-up that I wrote back to C. and the group:
Holy smoke, you guys. Me too. I'm also proud beyond pride's ultimate size to be able to say I know who you are.
When was the last time you saw a 6'4" 260lb man brought to tears in his office in the middle of the day? I had to close my office door just to make sure I didn't spoil my image. You moved me to tears, C.! I consider it an honor that you were able to make that trip and take a part of us with you. I can't remember the last time I was touched so deeply.
If you make another trip, let me know. I don't think I have any more clothing or anything to send but as they say, Cash is King. We'll put something together for you somehow.
Thanks, most of all, for the tip on the big "charitable" organizations and their dismal failure to do any good whatsoever. I read an article earlier today suggesting that many many many good Christian churches were helping and doing so much good for the people in the devastated areas. The guy complained that the atheists and various others weren't doing diddly-squat.
I hope that guy doesn't benefit from this atheist's contribution or those of his atheist friends, whoever they may be. Well, not really, but I'm blown away by the blatant manipulative demeanor of that kind of utter misguided arrogance. Give him some food and tell him to go and fu . . . . Well, better not.
What's good is good and will care for itself. Prayers don't help, wishful thinking doesn't help, radio ads don't help; nothing helps but the people doing what YOU did. What WE did as a club.
Damm. More tears. Damm you C.! for being so generous and eloquent and bringing me into this with you.
It's tough to say but I'll say it anyway, I love ya, you bastard!
--Wag--
C.'s comments back to me:
Wag...
It's very humbling to bring a grown man to tears. Whether it's from recanting of stories, or by merely handing him a pair of Nike's. I have always helped people, but never anything near this magnitude. It's one thing to help someone with some loose change and get a thanks, another to give a man who has nothing something, and get a tear filled hug.
In all honesty I didn't do much. Gathered up some stuff we (a collective "we") no longer needed, loaded it up and drove back East. It required very little sacrifice or energy on my part. Yet to some people it meant the world, it meant life.
Anyway, I am also an atheist but kindly returned the "god bless you's" with Thank you's. I will not scoff at the belief's of others, no matter my personal beliefs. One night I was talking to The Mrs., telling her of the day's events and happened to say "She said god bless you, er some shit"... Now M. overheard this, and she's Catholic. So the rest of the trip we recited "God bless you... er some shit" and couldn't help but chuckle whenever someone else "blessed" me.
Thank you for the kind words and allowing me to help others. I couldn't have done it with out the charity of you and everyone else who helped the cause. I felt partly ashamed at being able to receive the gratitude for something I only played part in. Know that I made mention of the club that backed me to make it possible, and that everyone wished I would extend the thank you's to everyone involved. Yet I could never do the sentiment justice.
Thank you.
and quit yer blabberin ya big cry baby!!! heh heh To quote an old Irish saying... "A tear is a smile we've all lost"... er some shit like that.
C.
And my reply back to him.
For some reason, people think atheists are evil. So be it. The funny thing is, Christians have a tendency to be the more hypocritical of all people if only because they don't care to read Matthew 6:1-6 which says, in a nutshell, "if you do charity, don't do it for the view of men." Yeah, I was raised in a cult religion and used to know this shit inside out and backwards.
Enough of that, however. I was going to send you a big huge diatribe from someone claiming that he didn't see any atheists helping out down there but why waste the time? The atheists are simply the only ones not advertising their presence and trying to accrue to themselves a whole bunch of recognition for their "wonderfulness."
Now I'm laughing myself to tears! :D
In any case, I'm glad I could help. If you get a wild hair to go back with another load, hit me up for some gas money at least. I'd be more than happy to help. I think I have a couple more boxes of MRE's somewhere that I'll part with.
You're a credit to the human race. I suppose I have to start believing in humanity again instead of being so cynical about everyone! heheheh.
Cheers!
--Wag--
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Hugo "Hooga Booga" Chavez
Is this guy for real? Whatta loon.
Of course, on the off-beat chance that the U.S. were ever to invade Venezuela, I think it would be enough to push even ME over the edge of being extremely pissed off at our government's own lunacy.
I'm sure Hugo "Hooga Booga" Chavez has reason to believe such wild accusations are going to win him favor with his own citizens. Strike fear of America into their hearts and the next thing you know, they all love him again as being their great protector against the U.S. At the very least, he'll succeed in diverting attention from his own horrible mis-management of his own country.
With any luck, his own "masses" will have the brains to understand this but it's possible that if they are not connected well enough, they're going to be swayed like dummies on a string. Question is, are they informed enough to see it?
Bizarre.
--Wag--
Yahoo news article link: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050917/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/us_venezuela_4
Text of Yahoo! article since Yahoo! loves to take stories down after only a very short period of time. Let's preserve it here for all time! ;-)
Chavez: U.S. Plans to Invade Venezuela Sat Sep 17, 7:24 AM ET
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Friday he has documentary evidence that the United States plans to invade his country.
Chavez, interviewed on ABC's "Nightline," said the plan is called "Balboa" and involves aircraft carriers and planes. A transcript of the interview was made available by "Nightline."
He said U.S. soldiers recently went to Curacao, an island off Venezuela's northwest coast. He described as a "lie" the official U.S. explanation that they visited Curacao for rest and recreation.
"They were doing movements. They were doing maneuvers," Chavez said, speaking through a translator.
He added: "We are coming up with the counter-Balboa plan. That is to say if the government of the United States attempts to commit the foolhardy enterprise of attacking us, it would be embarked on a 100-year war. We are prepared."
Chavez has been attending the summit of world leaders at the United Nations in New York this week. On Thursday, he denounced the U.S.-led war in Iraq and told other leaders they should consider moving the U.N. headquarters out of the United States.
To prove U.S. intentions to invade Venezuela, Chavez offered to send "Nightline" host Ted Koppel maps and other documentation.
"What I can't tell you is how we got it, to protect the sources, how we got it through military intelligence," he said.
In the event of a U.S. invasion, Chavez said the United States can "just forget" about receiving any more oil from his country.
Copyright © 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
Copyright 2005 © Yahoo! Inc.
Of course, on the off-beat chance that the U.S. were ever to invade Venezuela, I think it would be enough to push even ME over the edge of being extremely pissed off at our government's own lunacy.
I'm sure Hugo "Hooga Booga" Chavez has reason to believe such wild accusations are going to win him favor with his own citizens. Strike fear of America into their hearts and the next thing you know, they all love him again as being their great protector against the U.S. At the very least, he'll succeed in diverting attention from his own horrible mis-management of his own country.
With any luck, his own "masses" will have the brains to understand this but it's possible that if they are not connected well enough, they're going to be swayed like dummies on a string. Question is, are they informed enough to see it?
Bizarre.
--Wag--
Yahoo news article link: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050917/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/us_venezuela_4
Text of Yahoo! article since Yahoo! loves to take stories down after only a very short period of time. Let's preserve it here for all time! ;-)
Chavez: U.S. Plans to Invade Venezuela Sat Sep 17, 7:24 AM ET
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Friday he has documentary evidence that the United States plans to invade his country.
Chavez, interviewed on ABC's "Nightline," said the plan is called "Balboa" and involves aircraft carriers and planes. A transcript of the interview was made available by "Nightline."
He said U.S. soldiers recently went to Curacao, an island off Venezuela's northwest coast. He described as a "lie" the official U.S. explanation that they visited Curacao for rest and recreation.
"They were doing movements. They were doing maneuvers," Chavez said, speaking through a translator.
He added: "We are coming up with the counter-Balboa plan. That is to say if the government of the United States attempts to commit the foolhardy enterprise of attacking us, it would be embarked on a 100-year war. We are prepared."
Chavez has been attending the summit of world leaders at the United Nations in New York this week. On Thursday, he denounced the U.S.-led war in Iraq and told other leaders they should consider moving the U.N. headquarters out of the United States.
To prove U.S. intentions to invade Venezuela, Chavez offered to send "Nightline" host Ted Koppel maps and other documentation.
"What I can't tell you is how we got it, to protect the sources, how we got it through military intelligence," he said.
In the event of a U.S. invasion, Chavez said the United States can "just forget" about receiving any more oil from his country.
Copyright © 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
Copyright 2005 © Yahoo! Inc.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Who's in charge up there?
I just read a fantastic article the other day, located HERE:
http://www3.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0410/feature5/index.html
Please read it before continuing with my comments below. It is HIGHLY relevant and even significant. As you read it, remember that it was written about a year ago.
Okay, you're done? Good. Brace yourself.
My comments have to do with the fact that I'm an atheist, a Recovering Mormon. And while I think there is probably some merit to the tired old idea of, "If there is an all-powerful god out there, why did he allow this disaster to happen?" that isn't where I'm going to go with this. Besides, it's a worn out, worthless argument that a lot of atheists jump on when they have an unsuspecting Christian to bash on about their beliefs. What utter, unproductive nonsense that is.
Instead, I'm going to milk a different worn-out argument which makes a little more sense, frankly. Come to think of it, I don't recall hearing it presented in quite this way so perhaps this is somewhat original.
We find that over and over again throughout history, religion has had to bow down to the power of science. The earth is not flat, it's round. The planets revolve around the sun, not the earth. Disease is caused by microorganisms, they are not punishments from a divine being. Comets are little balls of space debris, not the sword of god. Eclipses are merely the shadow of one big ball onto another, not god giving us a warning. You know. So much religion flushed down the toilet of scientific research.
And hurricanes really kick ass when they get to hustling right along. Guess what, though? Science predicted this one. Not any religious leaders. The Mormon guy is Gordon B. Hinckley. He and fourteen other top Mormon men all claim to be, "Prophets, Seers, and Revelators," their words, their definitions. And yet, Katrina ripped through New Orleans like a snow blower with fangs on serious steriods. And not one revelation from Salt Lake City to protect New Orleans Mormons or anyone else for that matter.
Of course, nobody in any other prophetic career claimed any prior knowledge either. Not the Pope, not Billy Graham, not Robert Schulyer, no fortune tellers, no voodoo witch doctors and no indian shamans talking to the bones. Nobody. (Are these guys even still alive?)
Oh, wait. There was one group which predicted everything about it except the timing. Well, they didn't say the name of the hurricane, either. And they messed up when they originally predicted a different path for the hurricane in the days before it struck. But face it: They came a lot closer than anyone else! Didn't they?! Of course they did. Re-read the above-referenced article if you're still unsure. It's nearly a year old.
Okay, if you wish to believe in a divine power of some flavor, be my guest. I don't have a problem with people believing what they will, even in the face of this kind of natural disaster. But at least think about it. What I'm alluding to above is bad enough: Religion isn't protecting people, even though they really do claim to be able to do so. What's horribly bad is when religion gets out there and claims that this hurricane and the recent Pacific Tsunami and all sorts of other things are punishments from god for the decadence of any particular locale.
Speaking of the punishments of the Judeo/Christian god, I thought that before he punishes the evil guys he sends a prophet to warn them first and give 'em a chance to repent. Or move outta town. You know, Jonah was sent to Nineveh to threaten those people and get them to follow god, otherwise, they would be destroyed. Jonah even got pissed off when god spared them because SURPRISE! They all repented. Then god repented, I guess. Whoa.
And didn't two guys, angels even, go to Sodom and Gomorrah to tell Lot to get outta town? Sure enough, the cities were destroyed by god. Didn't Noah even have a few years to build a king-sized boat? All according to the Bible, that is.
So, if these modern sinful people were about to be destroyed by an angry god, where was their fair warning? You know, the kind of warning people used to get when they were about to be wiped out? Oh, I know. People will say that god gave us a blanket warning in the book of Revelations. And then went on vacation for the last two thousand plus years. Must've gotten tired of telling us all the same damn thing over and over again. So what is he doing now? Hangin' out and wiping out a city now and then just to give us a reminder that he's still there and he's still pissed off? He can take the time to sucker-punch us from time to time but he can't be troubled to give us the advance notice warnings any more?
Puh-leeze.
No, religion claims to be the solution of all of society's ills and yet, nobody was saved from the hurricane or any other natural disaster and they never are. The only thing religion ever does is claim, after the fact, that those people were evil and they deserved it. Like they're saying, "Surprise, surprise, burn in hell, cretins." Or words to that effect.
To religion's credit, a great many of them are out there helping the people who were hurt by Katrina. They did it after the Tsunami. They ALWAYS do. They ALWAYS will. Kudos to them and they have my support for such things. But don't say that any disaster is from god or that any person deserved such a tragedy. It's ludicrous at best and insulting at worst.
And time to polish up those crystal balls and peep stones and Urims and Thummims or whatever and get to protecting your people! I have a good one for ya. What about that bulge in the ground in Oregon?
http://www.livescience.com/forcesofnature/ap_050906_sisters_bulge.html The scientists candidly say they don't know what's up. How 'bout you religious prophets? You have a chance to outdo science this time. Do you have an answer for us on this one? BEFORE we find half of Oregon under a lava field?
--Wag--
http://www3.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0410/feature5/index.html
Please read it before continuing with my comments below. It is HIGHLY relevant and even significant. As you read it, remember that it was written about a year ago.
Okay, you're done? Good. Brace yourself.
My comments have to do with the fact that I'm an atheist, a Recovering Mormon. And while I think there is probably some merit to the tired old idea of, "If there is an all-powerful god out there, why did he allow this disaster to happen?" that isn't where I'm going to go with this. Besides, it's a worn out, worthless argument that a lot of atheists jump on when they have an unsuspecting Christian to bash on about their beliefs. What utter, unproductive nonsense that is.
Instead, I'm going to milk a different worn-out argument which makes a little more sense, frankly. Come to think of it, I don't recall hearing it presented in quite this way so perhaps this is somewhat original.
We find that over and over again throughout history, religion has had to bow down to the power of science. The earth is not flat, it's round. The planets revolve around the sun, not the earth. Disease is caused by microorganisms, they are not punishments from a divine being. Comets are little balls of space debris, not the sword of god. Eclipses are merely the shadow of one big ball onto another, not god giving us a warning. You know. So much religion flushed down the toilet of scientific research.
And hurricanes really kick ass when they get to hustling right along. Guess what, though? Science predicted this one. Not any religious leaders. The Mormon guy is Gordon B. Hinckley. He and fourteen other top Mormon men all claim to be, "Prophets, Seers, and Revelators," their words, their definitions. And yet, Katrina ripped through New Orleans like a snow blower with fangs on serious steriods. And not one revelation from Salt Lake City to protect New Orleans Mormons or anyone else for that matter.
Of course, nobody in any other prophetic career claimed any prior knowledge either. Not the Pope, not Billy Graham, not Robert Schulyer, no fortune tellers, no voodoo witch doctors and no indian shamans talking to the bones. Nobody. (Are these guys even still alive?)
Oh, wait. There was one group which predicted everything about it except the timing. Well, they didn't say the name of the hurricane, either. And they messed up when they originally predicted a different path for the hurricane in the days before it struck. But face it: They came a lot closer than anyone else! Didn't they?! Of course they did. Re-read the above-referenced article if you're still unsure. It's nearly a year old.
Okay, if you wish to believe in a divine power of some flavor, be my guest. I don't have a problem with people believing what they will, even in the face of this kind of natural disaster. But at least think about it. What I'm alluding to above is bad enough: Religion isn't protecting people, even though they really do claim to be able to do so. What's horribly bad is when religion gets out there and claims that this hurricane and the recent Pacific Tsunami and all sorts of other things are punishments from god for the decadence of any particular locale.
Speaking of the punishments of the Judeo/Christian god, I thought that before he punishes the evil guys he sends a prophet to warn them first and give 'em a chance to repent. Or move outta town. You know, Jonah was sent to Nineveh to threaten those people and get them to follow god, otherwise, they would be destroyed. Jonah even got pissed off when god spared them because SURPRISE! They all repented. Then god repented, I guess. Whoa.
And didn't two guys, angels even, go to Sodom and Gomorrah to tell Lot to get outta town? Sure enough, the cities were destroyed by god. Didn't Noah even have a few years to build a king-sized boat? All according to the Bible, that is.
So, if these modern sinful people were about to be destroyed by an angry god, where was their fair warning? You know, the kind of warning people used to get when they were about to be wiped out? Oh, I know. People will say that god gave us a blanket warning in the book of Revelations. And then went on vacation for the last two thousand plus years. Must've gotten tired of telling us all the same damn thing over and over again. So what is he doing now? Hangin' out and wiping out a city now and then just to give us a reminder that he's still there and he's still pissed off? He can take the time to sucker-punch us from time to time but he can't be troubled to give us the advance notice warnings any more?
Puh-leeze.
No, religion claims to be the solution of all of society's ills and yet, nobody was saved from the hurricane or any other natural disaster and they never are. The only thing religion ever does is claim, after the fact, that those people were evil and they deserved it. Like they're saying, "Surprise, surprise, burn in hell, cretins." Or words to that effect.
To religion's credit, a great many of them are out there helping the people who were hurt by Katrina. They did it after the Tsunami. They ALWAYS do. They ALWAYS will. Kudos to them and they have my support for such things. But don't say that any disaster is from god or that any person deserved such a tragedy. It's ludicrous at best and insulting at worst.
And time to polish up those crystal balls and peep stones and Urims and Thummims or whatever and get to protecting your people! I have a good one for ya. What about that bulge in the ground in Oregon?
http://www.livescience.com/forcesofnature/ap_050906_sisters_bulge.html The scientists candidly say they don't know what's up. How 'bout you religious prophets? You have a chance to outdo science this time. Do you have an answer for us on this one? BEFORE we find half of Oregon under a lava field?
--Wag--
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Thoughts on racism
This subject is touchy as hell. Most of us would much rather sweep it under the rug, myself included, but it needs discussion. Every time it gets discussed, something else comes out of it which is revelatory and worth pondering. The thought-provoking nature of this topic can reward us with enlightenment, despite the difficulties in talking about it.
Discussion of it can also cause damage, unfortunately. It can be easy to go off half-cocked and emotional without setting the brains to "Function." But again, discussion can easily bring about new ideas and concepts to the betterment of us all.
I'm as white as they come. Blonde hair, blue eyes, german blood, german name; the works. I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body but that was not always the case. My mother's family is a group of Missouri rednecks in the most extreme sense of the word, "Redneck." The only reason we can't call them Hillbillies is because they aren't THAT inbred.
Just kidding, really! :D Still, they are as racist a group of people as you can possibly find in the world. I've forgotten ten times more racist jokes than any of you will ever hear and they all came from that group of my mother's family. As an impressionable child, it would have been easy for me to become a Nazi-thinking nutball just like my racist pig uncles. If you're wondering, no, I don't have a great deal of love for them.
One of the things which tempered me somewhat and kept me from becoming that racist azz was that from age 7 to age 16, I grew up on the Navajo Indian Reservation in Window Rock, AZ. At the time, the population was about 2% white. (Now, I think it is about 3% white.) Picture this, however, if you will. A small-for-his-size white kid with snow white hair and at age 8, wearing some pretty geeky-looking glasses.
Sad, really. Hell, even the few white kids thought I was goofy-looking! :D
But what was really sad was the number of times I was harrassed by indian kids for the simple fact that I was a white boy. A bilagona (sp?). A term as derogatory as niggger ever was. An Navajo kid pulled a knife on me on the school bus one time. I was in third grade. Scared the he!! outta me, to be sure. (As an aside, that same guy contacted me about three years ago and apologized for that, if you can believe it!)
Why do I tell you all of that? So I can tell you this. Just as there were more than my fair share of life experiences where I was treated with racism and prejudice, there were just as many times when I was treated with decency and respect by people of other races. Other beliefs and skin colors. Other views of life.
I've come to believe it's never about racism, it's about respect. And respect is one of those things you're taught to have for other people at a young age, regardless of anything to do with their appearance. How they dress, wear their makeup, how they smell, how they carry themselves, how they speak, where they live, their sexual preferences, and yes, what color their skin is.
Most racist people were taught to be racist by their parents. They were not taught to have respect for people who deserve it. They were taught to judge people by their skin color alone. No, I take that back. They were taught to [b]hate[/b] people based on their skin color alone. To hate that which they do not understand. To despise that which is different from themselves. To consider themselves better than the other guy because they have a 'better' skin color.
As I implied above, people of all races are prejudicial and racist. Whites are not any more racist than Blacks, Asians, Latinos, etc. We are, in fact, all very much the same in that regard. The one Sioux indian who lived on the reservation was harrassed by racist Navajos just as much as the white guys were harrassed by racist Navajos. And treated well by the non-racist Navajos.
In my never-to-be-humble opinion, the only thing worse than racial prejudice is religious prejudice which starts more wars. Still, racism affects us daily and more constantly and will be many centuries before it is completely extirpated from our little world here.
--Wag--
Discussion of it can also cause damage, unfortunately. It can be easy to go off half-cocked and emotional without setting the brains to "Function." But again, discussion can easily bring about new ideas and concepts to the betterment of us all.
I'm as white as they come. Blonde hair, blue eyes, german blood, german name; the works. I don't have a prejudiced bone in my body but that was not always the case. My mother's family is a group of Missouri rednecks in the most extreme sense of the word, "Redneck." The only reason we can't call them Hillbillies is because they aren't THAT inbred.
Just kidding, really! :D Still, they are as racist a group of people as you can possibly find in the world. I've forgotten ten times more racist jokes than any of you will ever hear and they all came from that group of my mother's family. As an impressionable child, it would have been easy for me to become a Nazi-thinking nutball just like my racist pig uncles. If you're wondering, no, I don't have a great deal of love for them.
One of the things which tempered me somewhat and kept me from becoming that racist azz was that from age 7 to age 16, I grew up on the Navajo Indian Reservation in Window Rock, AZ. At the time, the population was about 2% white. (Now, I think it is about 3% white.) Picture this, however, if you will. A small-for-his-size white kid with snow white hair and at age 8, wearing some pretty geeky-looking glasses.
Sad, really. Hell, even the few white kids thought I was goofy-looking! :D
But what was really sad was the number of times I was harrassed by indian kids for the simple fact that I was a white boy. A bilagona (sp?). A term as derogatory as niggger ever was. An Navajo kid pulled a knife on me on the school bus one time. I was in third grade. Scared the he!! outta me, to be sure. (As an aside, that same guy contacted me about three years ago and apologized for that, if you can believe it!)
Why do I tell you all of that? So I can tell you this. Just as there were more than my fair share of life experiences where I was treated with racism and prejudice, there were just as many times when I was treated with decency and respect by people of other races. Other beliefs and skin colors. Other views of life.
I've come to believe it's never about racism, it's about respect. And respect is one of those things you're taught to have for other people at a young age, regardless of anything to do with their appearance. How they dress, wear their makeup, how they smell, how they carry themselves, how they speak, where they live, their sexual preferences, and yes, what color their skin is.
Most racist people were taught to be racist by their parents. They were not taught to have respect for people who deserve it. They were taught to judge people by their skin color alone. No, I take that back. They were taught to [b]hate[/b] people based on their skin color alone. To hate that which they do not understand. To despise that which is different from themselves. To consider themselves better than the other guy because they have a 'better' skin color.
As I implied above, people of all races are prejudicial and racist. Whites are not any more racist than Blacks, Asians, Latinos, etc. We are, in fact, all very much the same in that regard. The one Sioux indian who lived on the reservation was harrassed by racist Navajos just as much as the white guys were harrassed by racist Navajos. And treated well by the non-racist Navajos.
In my never-to-be-humble opinion, the only thing worse than racial prejudice is religious prejudice which starts more wars. Still, racism affects us daily and more constantly and will be many centuries before it is completely extirpated from our little world here.
--Wag--
Conversations with "A"
"A," is 19 or so years old. On occasion, we have cause to e-mail each other and the resulting conversations can be rather thought-provoking. Since the provocation of thought is both the purpose and the cause of this blog, I thought I'd post this here.
Background is simple. She's a VERY sharp kid but she's having trouble finding motivation and direction in her life. In that context, see what you think of this.
Wag
---------------------------------------
From: A
How’s it going? Happy Tuesday!
I am taking my Notary Public test this Sat. – very excitable!
Lol
I have a new plan for college – I am going to do small little things like this Notary thing and next semester I am trying to get enrolled in Massage Therapy and then I am going to take Culinary Arts and get my Real Estate lic.
So I figure that as long as I am jerking off in college I might as well accomplish something useful.
And I think that small accomplishments along the way regarding things I enjoy and can get use out of will make the whole experience less discouraging.
--A
---------------------------------------
From: Wag
Excellent. If I need you to notarize some stuff, I'll bring it on over. Assuming your rates are comptetitive, of course!
Massage Therapy? That might be good. Make sure they teach you how to avoid Carpal Tunnel / RSD problems. Use your feet and elbows. LOL
Real Estate. Good pick. Easiest low-paid work, hardest high-paid work. As with any sales position. You'll do well if you put your mind to it.
Jerking off. I sincerely hope you're not equipped for that. Unless you're jerking off someone else! (I know, that's bad!)
Accomplishments are important. I have trouble staying focused on any one thing long enough to get really good at it. Though I did VERY intensive piano work for many years. Probably the greatest of my accomplishments. I just get very bored with things very quickly.
You and I have a similar problem: We're both highly intelligent and when we start on a new adventure, it's always very easy at first which makes it fun and exciting. If we don't get bored right away, we last long enough to get very frustrated with it as it grows more difficult (read that, "we have to start really working at it") and we eventually abandon our original quest in favor of the next new and exciting thing which comes along. I'm still trying to change my habit and build up some persistence/perseverance/discipline to avoid this fundamental character flaw in the future. I'm twice as old as you but I think I'm ahead of the game a little just by understanding it at this point. Wish I'd understood it when I was 20.
Of course, I may be completely full of shit! Something to think about, nonetheless
In any case, keep me posted. You're a sharp cookie and your adventures interest me a great deal.
--Wag--
---------------------------------------
From: A
Nope – you are right on. I am on a mission right now (for the last week or so). Been doing a lot of thinking and that is one of the conclusions I came to – things I have to work at PISS ME OFF!
Lol
So that is why I am going to do these little easier things. And I am switching my major to Communications. I am going to make myself accomplish stuff whether I like it or not! I am tired of being so lazy – but I don’t know how to fix myself so I will have to work with it for now, ya know?
And thanks for always listening about my nonsense. I really appreciate your input.
--A
---------------------------------------
From: Wag
It isn't nonsense. Self-evaluation is a critical component to making personal change. Good for you for realizating it.
Also, you aren't lazy. I used to worry about that a lot regarding myself. Coincidentally, a month or two ago, someone told me I'm not lazy, just unmotivated. (Or somehow, I came to that conclusion; I think someone pointed it out to me.)
The problem isn't laziness, the problem is finding out A) what you're good at and B) what you're passionate about. You're probably good at several things. Such is the case with me. I'm very good at several things but not exceptional at any of them. The reason I'm not exceptional is, as I said in the last e-mail, it's tough to keep myself focused. I think that's because I've never done anything which drives me passionately for "the duration."
I also enjoy doing several things and all too frequently allow myself to get distracted by one thing while I'm working on or enjoying another.
What do you enjoy doing? Actively doing? (Watching movies or sports or other passive couch-potato things doesn't count.) What you enjoy doing is what you need to get involved in up to your ears. I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I enjoy doing enough to think about it for a large percentage of my day. Something that nags at me to go and do all the time, throughout the day.
So far, nothing comes to mind. But I haven't given up. Something will grab me and hold me, give me a vision which I can't refuse. It won't matter, then, whether or not I make any money at it, I'll be driven from within.
At least, I hope so!
If, for some reason, I start boring you with all this, just say so and I'll shut the hell up. LOL
--Wag--
---------------------------------------
From: A
I think that what I really like to do is to take care of people. I know that prob sounds way retarded. Not like sick people – but just on a daily basis. I keep complaining that every boyfriend I have turns me into their mom, but I think I do it myself.
Aside from that, I like to organize things, I like to clean things (don’ t tell my parents), I like finding the most efficient way of doing things. I have actually semi-seriously entertained the idea of being a housekeeper or cleaner or whatever you want to call it. I don’t know what that stuff amounts to though – haven’t found anything that really makes me feel passionate except for babies and they scare the hell out of me.
--A
---------------------------------------
[Several days go by]
---------------------------------------
From: Wag
I'm not avoiding this response. Just want to make it as right as possible.
Nothing at all wrong with taking care of people. On the other hand, you have to be sure you don't do more harm than good. It's a real risk for people of your nature. You may find you have a tendency to do too much. Are you a person who will help the baby bird out of its eggshell? Help the butterfly out of it's cocoon? Damage them permanently because of your misplaced good intentions and misinformed concept of what help really is? Something to think about. My father-in-law is one of those people.
Also, are you the type who will help someone else at the expense of your own well-being? Equally disastrous. Again, my father-in-law who has given money to so many people that he's had extreme financial difficulties because of it. Not good. He just can't bring himself to say no. Was it Danny Cox or Jim Rohn who said, "You can't help someone unless you're on higher ground."
It's easy to turn down a stranger who asks for help. They won't bother you again. It's just as easy to give them a couple of bucks and for the same reason. But a relative or some other loved one? If you give them help, they keep coming back. If you turn them down, they might even keep coming back but they'll slander you six ways to Sunday with everyone else you love. (Obviously, exceptions do apply.)
Rather thought-provoking, especially if we take it out of the realm of money and finance and into the realm of personalities, emotion, love and relationships. How much do we help? Or not?
Do you agree with everything your friends say as they repeatedly whine and complain to you about the same ol' problems over and over again? They think you're being supportive but are you really? I started telling "friends" I didn't want to hear about it any more. What I wanted to hear was how they had solved the last problems they dumped on me and what they learned in the process. Not surprisingly, MOST of these people I haven't heard from in a long time. They don't like it when you hold them responsible for themselves and their actions. They aren't happy unless they are crying and whining. And they do nothing to solve their problems.
Like I said, I have a new set of friends now . . . !
Another possibility to consider. Do you like to take care of people because you're genuinely interested in their well-being? Or are you merely enthralled with the idea of making them love you? I found that out about myself quite some time ago. Externally and to myself, I had successfully projected the image of caring and concern for others. One of the more masterful self-deceptions I ever foisted upon me! What I was really doing was selfishly seeking the approval of others. I wanted them to worship the ground I walked on. Though I wasn't doing it with money, I was trying to "buy" a bunch of friends. I wanted to hear them say how wonderful I was. I'm not saying I believe YOU are like this but it might be worth checking.
Take that kind of introspection to the cleaning thing. I'm messy all the time but I like the activity of getting things cleaned up and organized. Not because I'm neat and organized by nature but because I like the PROCESS of getting something done. Afterwards, I enjoy the sense of accomplishment. You may believe you enjoy the idea of cleaning people's homes but is it that? Or is it something deeper? Again, worth a self-check!!!!
As a kid, I absolutely HATED doing work or chores or whatever for my parents around the house. But I would go to the neighbor's and slave away for hours on end, do a fantastic job of it, and walk away having refused whatever pay they may have offered me. Why? Because they would express their appreciation to me whereas my parents expected it of us and would get angry if we didn't perform for them. Of course, we would do a crappy job for them, doing as little as we could get away with because it was always highly unpleasant to do. To this day, I don't work as well for myself as I do for other people because the sense of accomplishment comes from another person, externally. I have a lot harder time getting a sense of satisfaction and achievement from within. And I'm still messy, to this day!
I'm gettting too windy here. Time to wrap this up! LOL
Having said all of that, there is NOTHING retarded with loving to take care of people. Whatever you love doing should engender no fear of what others think of it. A dream is a dream, a love is a love. Here's one way to think of it: Ever see two people totally in love but one of them is a complete physical disaster? Ugly, unattractive, mis-shapen? Ever think to yourself, "What a waste! That person's mate can do MUCH better than that!" But the attractive one is not concerned in the least with your thoughts of their relationship because they love each other. The same is true with you and your dreams and desires. If you truly love them, you're not worried about how others feel about your desires. You don't worry if they believe your loves are retarded or not.
There is no such thing as a higher calling above that which you love doing the most. If you're doing what you love, you are doing the greatest thing you can possibly do. So go for it! Do what it takes to learn about your loves and dreams and how best to accomplish them. Find out how to get motivated to do it and how to get past the times when you get discouraged when the road is tough. How to rise above the challenges which come your way. If you don't know how to do these things already, now's the time to learn how!
Whattaya think?
--Wag--
---------------------------------------
From: A
I do not think that I am someone who inadvertently hurts other people with good intentions. I am pretty honest and I have no problem repeatedly offering my best advice (whether or not it is taken). I am a kind of counselor for a lot of my friends. –not that I don’t also utilize their services in that department – but I usually already know what I am going to do. I like taking care of people in ways like remembering their appointments for them, their prescriptions, their chores, requests, making them feel loved. I pretty much turn into a secretary/calendar/mom/girlfriend whenever I get into a relationship.
I no longer help to the point of self-destruction (once was enough for me) but I do go way out of my way for people who matter when necessary. I don’t really have very many friends, but that doesn’t bother me – I like the ones I do have and that is what matters I think.
I KNOW that the reason I like cleaning is b/c of the process – I like watching things get clean and being the cause of the process, making things organized and neat and dirt-free (I don’t know why – I am sure there is some psychological theory that I could probably guess, but whatever, don’t want to go there) – I am a total slob with my stuff (although that is getting better too) but will clean B’s house till it sparkles. Oddly (or maybe predictably) enough, I get mad if he doesn’t demonstrate his approval, euphoric when his room mate does, but when I stay at his parents house with him, or at my house (when I actually clean) or my friend’s houses I just do it because I like the process and I don’t mind if nobody says anything.
I do like the approval of others (maybe too much). And I have examined this in depth. I do a lot of things for reactions, reinforcement. And you are right on about the family thing – when it is expected it is nowhere near as rewarding. But I am in the process of getting over that right now I hope. I have become much more family oriented in the last little while.
--A
From: Wag
A, you're okay in my book. Stay excellent, always!
--Wag--
Background is simple. She's a VERY sharp kid but she's having trouble finding motivation and direction in her life. In that context, see what you think of this.
Wag
---------------------------------------
From: A
How’s it going? Happy Tuesday!
I am taking my Notary Public test this Sat. – very excitable!
Lol
I have a new plan for college – I am going to do small little things like this Notary thing and next semester I am trying to get enrolled in Massage Therapy and then I am going to take Culinary Arts and get my Real Estate lic.
So I figure that as long as I am jerking off in college I might as well accomplish something useful.
And I think that small accomplishments along the way regarding things I enjoy and can get use out of will make the whole experience less discouraging.
--A
---------------------------------------
From: Wag
Excellent. If I need you to notarize some stuff, I'll bring it on over. Assuming your rates are comptetitive, of course!
Massage Therapy? That might be good. Make sure they teach you how to avoid Carpal Tunnel / RSD problems. Use your feet and elbows. LOL
Real Estate. Good pick. Easiest low-paid work, hardest high-paid work. As with any sales position. You'll do well if you put your mind to it.
Jerking off. I sincerely hope you're not equipped for that. Unless you're jerking off someone else! (I know, that's bad!)
Accomplishments are important. I have trouble staying focused on any one thing long enough to get really good at it. Though I did VERY intensive piano work for many years. Probably the greatest of my accomplishments. I just get very bored with things very quickly.
You and I have a similar problem: We're both highly intelligent and when we start on a new adventure, it's always very easy at first which makes it fun and exciting. If we don't get bored right away, we last long enough to get very frustrated with it as it grows more difficult (read that, "we have to start really working at it") and we eventually abandon our original quest in favor of the next new and exciting thing which comes along. I'm still trying to change my habit and build up some persistence/perseverance/discipline to avoid this fundamental character flaw in the future. I'm twice as old as you but I think I'm ahead of the game a little just by understanding it at this point. Wish I'd understood it when I was 20.
Of course, I may be completely full of shit! Something to think about, nonetheless
In any case, keep me posted. You're a sharp cookie and your adventures interest me a great deal.
--Wag--
---------------------------------------
From: A
Nope – you are right on. I am on a mission right now (for the last week or so). Been doing a lot of thinking and that is one of the conclusions I came to – things I have to work at PISS ME OFF!
Lol
So that is why I am going to do these little easier things. And I am switching my major to Communications. I am going to make myself accomplish stuff whether I like it or not! I am tired of being so lazy – but I don’t know how to fix myself so I will have to work with it for now, ya know?
And thanks for always listening about my nonsense. I really appreciate your input.
--A
---------------------------------------
From: Wag
It isn't nonsense. Self-evaluation is a critical component to making personal change. Good for you for realizating it.
Also, you aren't lazy. I used to worry about that a lot regarding myself. Coincidentally, a month or two ago, someone told me I'm not lazy, just unmotivated. (Or somehow, I came to that conclusion; I think someone pointed it out to me.)
The problem isn't laziness, the problem is finding out A) what you're good at and B) what you're passionate about. You're probably good at several things. Such is the case with me. I'm very good at several things but not exceptional at any of them. The reason I'm not exceptional is, as I said in the last e-mail, it's tough to keep myself focused. I think that's because I've never done anything which drives me passionately for "the duration."
I also enjoy doing several things and all too frequently allow myself to get distracted by one thing while I'm working on or enjoying another.
What do you enjoy doing? Actively doing? (Watching movies or sports or other passive couch-potato things doesn't count.) What you enjoy doing is what you need to get involved in up to your ears. I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I enjoy doing enough to think about it for a large percentage of my day. Something that nags at me to go and do all the time, throughout the day.
So far, nothing comes to mind. But I haven't given up. Something will grab me and hold me, give me a vision which I can't refuse. It won't matter, then, whether or not I make any money at it, I'll be driven from within.
At least, I hope so!
If, for some reason, I start boring you with all this, just say so and I'll shut the hell up. LOL
--Wag--
---------------------------------------
From: A
I think that what I really like to do is to take care of people. I know that prob sounds way retarded. Not like sick people – but just on a daily basis. I keep complaining that every boyfriend I have turns me into their mom, but I think I do it myself.
Aside from that, I like to organize things, I like to clean things (don’ t tell my parents), I like finding the most efficient way of doing things. I have actually semi-seriously entertained the idea of being a housekeeper or cleaner or whatever you want to call it. I don’t know what that stuff amounts to though – haven’t found anything that really makes me feel passionate except for babies and they scare the hell out of me.
--A
---------------------------------------
[Several days go by]
---------------------------------------
From: Wag
I'm not avoiding this response. Just want to make it as right as possible.
Nothing at all wrong with taking care of people. On the other hand, you have to be sure you don't do more harm than good. It's a real risk for people of your nature. You may find you have a tendency to do too much. Are you a person who will help the baby bird out of its eggshell? Help the butterfly out of it's cocoon? Damage them permanently because of your misplaced good intentions and misinformed concept of what help really is? Something to think about. My father-in-law is one of those people.
Also, are you the type who will help someone else at the expense of your own well-being? Equally disastrous. Again, my father-in-law who has given money to so many people that he's had extreme financial difficulties because of it. Not good. He just can't bring himself to say no. Was it Danny Cox or Jim Rohn who said, "You can't help someone unless you're on higher ground."
It's easy to turn down a stranger who asks for help. They won't bother you again. It's just as easy to give them a couple of bucks and for the same reason. But a relative or some other loved one? If you give them help, they keep coming back. If you turn them down, they might even keep coming back but they'll slander you six ways to Sunday with everyone else you love. (Obviously, exceptions do apply.)
Rather thought-provoking, especially if we take it out of the realm of money and finance and into the realm of personalities, emotion, love and relationships. How much do we help? Or not?
Do you agree with everything your friends say as they repeatedly whine and complain to you about the same ol' problems over and over again? They think you're being supportive but are you really? I started telling "friends" I didn't want to hear about it any more. What I wanted to hear was how they had solved the last problems they dumped on me and what they learned in the process. Not surprisingly, MOST of these people I haven't heard from in a long time. They don't like it when you hold them responsible for themselves and their actions. They aren't happy unless they are crying and whining. And they do nothing to solve their problems.
Like I said, I have a new set of friends now . . . !
Another possibility to consider. Do you like to take care of people because you're genuinely interested in their well-being? Or are you merely enthralled with the idea of making them love you? I found that out about myself quite some time ago. Externally and to myself, I had successfully projected the image of caring and concern for others. One of the more masterful self-deceptions I ever foisted upon me! What I was really doing was selfishly seeking the approval of others. I wanted them to worship the ground I walked on. Though I wasn't doing it with money, I was trying to "buy" a bunch of friends. I wanted to hear them say how wonderful I was. I'm not saying I believe YOU are like this but it might be worth checking.
Take that kind of introspection to the cleaning thing. I'm messy all the time but I like the activity of getting things cleaned up and organized. Not because I'm neat and organized by nature but because I like the PROCESS of getting something done. Afterwards, I enjoy the sense of accomplishment. You may believe you enjoy the idea of cleaning people's homes but is it that? Or is it something deeper? Again, worth a self-check!!!!
As a kid, I absolutely HATED doing work or chores or whatever for my parents around the house. But I would go to the neighbor's and slave away for hours on end, do a fantastic job of it, and walk away having refused whatever pay they may have offered me. Why? Because they would express their appreciation to me whereas my parents expected it of us and would get angry if we didn't perform for them. Of course, we would do a crappy job for them, doing as little as we could get away with because it was always highly unpleasant to do. To this day, I don't work as well for myself as I do for other people because the sense of accomplishment comes from another person, externally. I have a lot harder time getting a sense of satisfaction and achievement from within. And I'm still messy, to this day!
I'm gettting too windy here. Time to wrap this up! LOL
Having said all of that, there is NOTHING retarded with loving to take care of people. Whatever you love doing should engender no fear of what others think of it. A dream is a dream, a love is a love. Here's one way to think of it: Ever see two people totally in love but one of them is a complete physical disaster? Ugly, unattractive, mis-shapen? Ever think to yourself, "What a waste! That person's mate can do MUCH better than that!" But the attractive one is not concerned in the least with your thoughts of their relationship because they love each other. The same is true with you and your dreams and desires. If you truly love them, you're not worried about how others feel about your desires. You don't worry if they believe your loves are retarded or not.
There is no such thing as a higher calling above that which you love doing the most. If you're doing what you love, you are doing the greatest thing you can possibly do. So go for it! Do what it takes to learn about your loves and dreams and how best to accomplish them. Find out how to get motivated to do it and how to get past the times when you get discouraged when the road is tough. How to rise above the challenges which come your way. If you don't know how to do these things already, now's the time to learn how!
Whattaya think?
--Wag--
---------------------------------------
From: A
I do not think that I am someone who inadvertently hurts other people with good intentions. I am pretty honest and I have no problem repeatedly offering my best advice (whether or not it is taken). I am a kind of counselor for a lot of my friends. –not that I don’t also utilize their services in that department – but I usually already know what I am going to do. I like taking care of people in ways like remembering their appointments for them, their prescriptions, their chores, requests, making them feel loved. I pretty much turn into a secretary/calendar/mom/girlfriend whenever I get into a relationship.
I no longer help to the point of self-destruction (once was enough for me) but I do go way out of my way for people who matter when necessary. I don’t really have very many friends, but that doesn’t bother me – I like the ones I do have and that is what matters I think.
I KNOW that the reason I like cleaning is b/c of the process – I like watching things get clean and being the cause of the process, making things organized and neat and dirt-free (I don’t know why – I am sure there is some psychological theory that I could probably guess, but whatever, don’t want to go there) – I am a total slob with my stuff (although that is getting better too) but will clean B’s house till it sparkles. Oddly (or maybe predictably) enough, I get mad if he doesn’t demonstrate his approval, euphoric when his room mate does, but when I stay at his parents house with him, or at my house (when I actually clean) or my friend’s houses I just do it because I like the process and I don’t mind if nobody says anything.
I do like the approval of others (maybe too much). And I have examined this in depth. I do a lot of things for reactions, reinforcement. And you are right on about the family thing – when it is expected it is nowhere near as rewarding. But I am in the process of getting over that right now I hope. I have become much more family oriented in the last little while.
--A
From: Wag
A, you're okay in my book. Stay excellent, always!
--Wag--
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Katrina bites humanity in the ass
Ever notice how any fact spouted off by Michael Moore instantly loses about 95% of its credibility?
William Golding wrote about the development of this kind of human anarchy in "The Lord of the Flies." Good book, which I highly recommend. The hurrican didn't just break down the levees and let in the destruction of water. Katrina also broke down the levees of society, allowing the waste of human indignity flow in.
This concept was also discussed at length in Philip Wylie's, "An Essay on Morals." Human beings are nothing more than animals; we just pretend we are better than they. Truth is, we CAN be better than animals but in the core of our being, we tend to have this persistent tug back to our true nature and instinct.
Viktor Frankl discusses this in "Man's Search for Meaning." As a resistance leader and activist in Auschwitz and Dachau, he observed that a man can transform from saint to demon just because his belly is empty and back again when it's full.
The difference between humans and animals is very simple: Choice. We have the option of choosing between our base instinct and a "better" civility which ingratiates ourselves with others of our kind. Humans are the "master race." Yet, there are individuals within our group who choose to ravage the remainder of us. These are those who will use any excuse to take full advantage of the weakness of others and prey upon them. They are the exception rather than the rule.
How to deal with these "diseased" individuals is the source of great consternation among the rest of us. The same individuals who would proclaim that we support and succor the poor and the needy are the same who would decry those who speak of shooting the very predators who are taking advantage of their destitute circumstances.
The differences between us as individuals are overwhelming. One very important concept is certain, however. Extremism on either end of the scale is not the "correct" answer or solution to any of our problems in society or for this hurricane disaster. Sadly, my solutions to the problems caused by this crisis are not going to be implemented, even though they would immediately solve every related issue for centuries to come. Just as sadly, your responses to this crisis also will not be implemented even though they too, would solve all the inherent difficulties for the next few centuries. You know it's true; we are all social engineering genuises, every one of us.
There are a few facts which should be borne in the forefronts of our minds:
1. People are hurt and suffering.
2. It matters not who's fault it was, it wasn't necessarily theirs.
3. No solution is going to be perfect or good enough or fast enough.
4. Pontificating about any particular issue will do NO good whatsoever.
5. Praying will do no good.
6. Getting on line and posting about it will do no good.
7. Debate will do no good. (Ironically, happy people will do the most good for those who are suffering.)
No, there is only one thing which matters right now: Giving of yourself to help those in need. How much money have you sent? If it isn't possible for you to go and physically help those people yourself, then send money to them. Choose your aid societies carefully, 'cause there are just as many financial predators out there as physical predators. As a matter of fact, even if you were to go down there yourself, you'd likely just get in the way and become a part of the problem.
So send money. The pathetic, endless, ludicrously endless debate of the intricacies of this whole disaster are worthless. Prayer is worthless. Crying is worthless. Anger is worthless. The only thing which matters is money.
Send it. And shut the fuck up.
--Wag--
William Golding wrote about the development of this kind of human anarchy in "The Lord of the Flies." Good book, which I highly recommend. The hurrican didn't just break down the levees and let in the destruction of water. Katrina also broke down the levees of society, allowing the waste of human indignity flow in.
This concept was also discussed at length in Philip Wylie's, "An Essay on Morals." Human beings are nothing more than animals; we just pretend we are better than they. Truth is, we CAN be better than animals but in the core of our being, we tend to have this persistent tug back to our true nature and instinct.
Viktor Frankl discusses this in "Man's Search for Meaning." As a resistance leader and activist in Auschwitz and Dachau, he observed that a man can transform from saint to demon just because his belly is empty and back again when it's full.
The difference between humans and animals is very simple: Choice. We have the option of choosing between our base instinct and a "better" civility which ingratiates ourselves with others of our kind. Humans are the "master race." Yet, there are individuals within our group who choose to ravage the remainder of us. These are those who will use any excuse to take full advantage of the weakness of others and prey upon them. They are the exception rather than the rule.
How to deal with these "diseased" individuals is the source of great consternation among the rest of us. The same individuals who would proclaim that we support and succor the poor and the needy are the same who would decry those who speak of shooting the very predators who are taking advantage of their destitute circumstances.
The differences between us as individuals are overwhelming. One very important concept is certain, however. Extremism on either end of the scale is not the "correct" answer or solution to any of our problems in society or for this hurricane disaster. Sadly, my solutions to the problems caused by this crisis are not going to be implemented, even though they would immediately solve every related issue for centuries to come. Just as sadly, your responses to this crisis also will not be implemented even though they too, would solve all the inherent difficulties for the next few centuries. You know it's true; we are all social engineering genuises, every one of us.
There are a few facts which should be borne in the forefronts of our minds:
1. People are hurt and suffering.
2. It matters not who's fault it was, it wasn't necessarily theirs.
3. No solution is going to be perfect or good enough or fast enough.
4. Pontificating about any particular issue will do NO good whatsoever.
5. Praying will do no good.
6. Getting on line and posting about it will do no good.
7. Debate will do no good. (Ironically, happy people will do the most good for those who are suffering.)
No, there is only one thing which matters right now: Giving of yourself to help those in need. How much money have you sent? If it isn't possible for you to go and physically help those people yourself, then send money to them. Choose your aid societies carefully, 'cause there are just as many financial predators out there as physical predators. As a matter of fact, even if you were to go down there yourself, you'd likely just get in the way and become a part of the problem.
So send money. The pathetic, endless, ludicrously endless debate of the intricacies of this whole disaster are worthless. Prayer is worthless. Crying is worthless. Anger is worthless. The only thing which matters is money.
Send it. And shut the fuck up.
--Wag--
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Addicted to Speed
No, not THAT speed. Jeez, you think I could write this brilliantly if I were a loser on crack? Or whatever serves to amp people up these days?
Not a chance.
No, I'm talking about the speed and convenience offered by computers. Today, I saw yet another headline about how a system was hacked and the private information of some group of military officers was compromised. Yes, I mean, "headline," too. I didn't read the article through because I already know what it's going to say. The same thing they all say.
Now why on earth don't we solve this problem once and for all? All we have to do is all shut off all of our computers at once, leave them off forever and viola!!!! No more computer information theft! No more costly viruses! No more Spam! (Whoa. I think that one might sell me on the idea.) No more time wasted posting on newsgroups, bulleting boards and blogs. (Waitaminnit. I actually like that.) No more music downloads to waste my time. No more pirated music and movies. No more class action lawyers getting rich. (Starting to like this again even more!) No more garbage about conspiracy theories to distract my life.
Next thing you know, we're all going to be taken over by our moniters. Our eyes will be strictly pixelated. Do ya wanna be plasma or LCD?
Nice. We have a near-worldwide cultural addiction. What's strange is that with the exception of Australia, it's the Northern Hemisphere which is the most technologically advanced and therefore the most addicted. But what's really odd is the number of people who would go utterly ballistic if we unplugged them permanently. Good gawd, you'd have to drive to the computer store to buy software instead of downloading it. Or you'd have to wait for it to come in the mail. Horrible to comtemplate, I know. Tech support would have to mail you updated drivers diskettes so you could do updates. Of course, if Microsoft would no longer have to worry about security updates to Windows, et al.
Nope. Life would be good! We could probably even go back to the horse and buggy era of the dark ages of 150 years ago. Nah, that's too messy. How 'bout the roaring 50's? Nah. Crappy clothes. (Not that I'm a fashion guru or anything.)
Yup. I think the solution to all of our problems is to simply cut the power to computers.
--Wag--
Not a chance.
No, I'm talking about the speed and convenience offered by computers. Today, I saw yet another headline about how a system was hacked and the private information of some group of military officers was compromised. Yes, I mean, "headline," too. I didn't read the article through because I already know what it's going to say. The same thing they all say.
Now why on earth don't we solve this problem once and for all? All we have to do is all shut off all of our computers at once, leave them off forever and viola!!!! No more computer information theft! No more costly viruses! No more Spam! (Whoa. I think that one might sell me on the idea.) No more time wasted posting on newsgroups, bulleting boards and blogs. (Waitaminnit. I actually like that.) No more music downloads to waste my time. No more pirated music and movies. No more class action lawyers getting rich. (Starting to like this again even more!) No more garbage about conspiracy theories to distract my life.
Next thing you know, we're all going to be taken over by our moniters. Our eyes will be strictly pixelated. Do ya wanna be plasma or LCD?
Nice. We have a near-worldwide cultural addiction. What's strange is that with the exception of Australia, it's the Northern Hemisphere which is the most technologically advanced and therefore the most addicted. But what's really odd is the number of people who would go utterly ballistic if we unplugged them permanently. Good gawd, you'd have to drive to the computer store to buy software instead of downloading it. Or you'd have to wait for it to come in the mail. Horrible to comtemplate, I know. Tech support would have to mail you updated drivers diskettes so you could do updates. Of course, if Microsoft would no longer have to worry about security updates to Windows, et al.
Nope. Life would be good! We could probably even go back to the horse and buggy era of the dark ages of 150 years ago. Nah, that's too messy. How 'bout the roaring 50's? Nah. Crappy clothes. (Not that I'm a fashion guru or anything.)
Yup. I think the solution to all of our problems is to simply cut the power to computers.
--Wag--
Marriage revisited
I suppose I write a lot about marriage and relationships here. Don't get me wrong; I'm no expert at it, even though I've been doing it a long time. Two months ago, it was 16 years. But I look around at many of my friends and my family and I see that my wife and I are a strange phenomenon.
The marriages and relationships af a great many of my friends pretty much fall apart about 3 to 5 years into it. Almost like clockwork. They don't always divorce or abandon the diseased relationship right then but they frequently do. Sadly, even though they sometimes stay together, their relationships are poisoned and they fail to get them fixed.
Why is that? Why does it seem to be so problematic and difficult for people to keep their relationships together and keep them healthy? These are good people, despite anything they may say about each other in divorce court. It's tragic when a relationship or marriage falls apart but it's happening to people who deserve better. Where did they go wrong?
The answer may be training. Skills. Relationship skills and training, to be precise. It isn't about whether or not you or your partner or spouse is the right type of person. It has a lot more to do with HOW the two interact with each other.
Granted, there are plenty of individuals out there who are assholes, bitches, selfish pricks, heartless wenches and other sorts of worms and dirtbags. These are people who will probably never be able to have a meaningful, rewarding relationship with another human being. These are the frat boys and the cheerleader types who are thinking about only one thing, 100% of the time: Themselves. While I do believe everyone on the planet has the potential to change that attitude if they have it, I also believe only a very small number of them will ever actually do so.
No, I'm writing this article to those whose relationships are in trouble. You're probably 3 to 5 years into your relationship or your troubles started about then. Frequently, you probably think to yourself, "If only my spouse would . . . ." Sound familiar? Good. You're likely just missing one thing in your life: Relationship training.
There's a lot more you need than what you'll ever get here or anywhere on the internet. There's great stuff out there, don't get me wrong and they may get you started but where you really get the help and training you need is when you go to a trained, qualified marriage and relationship counsellor who can talk to both of you in the same room together and observe the interaction you're having. And then train you on the things you're doing wrong. It's worth whatever it costs. (And do your homework. There are plenty of crappy wanna-be counsellors out there who don't know their relationships from their asses.)
I think a major key here is in HOW the two of you communicate with each other. And that's what you need to learn.
Give it a shot. Find the right counsellor. And even if you're NOT on the brink of divorce, make your marriage a happier one with some counselling.
--Wag--
The marriages and relationships af a great many of my friends pretty much fall apart about 3 to 5 years into it. Almost like clockwork. They don't always divorce or abandon the diseased relationship right then but they frequently do. Sadly, even though they sometimes stay together, their relationships are poisoned and they fail to get them fixed.
Why is that? Why does it seem to be so problematic and difficult for people to keep their relationships together and keep them healthy? These are good people, despite anything they may say about each other in divorce court. It's tragic when a relationship or marriage falls apart but it's happening to people who deserve better. Where did they go wrong?
The answer may be training. Skills. Relationship skills and training, to be precise. It isn't about whether or not you or your partner or spouse is the right type of person. It has a lot more to do with HOW the two interact with each other.
Granted, there are plenty of individuals out there who are assholes, bitches, selfish pricks, heartless wenches and other sorts of worms and dirtbags. These are people who will probably never be able to have a meaningful, rewarding relationship with another human being. These are the frat boys and the cheerleader types who are thinking about only one thing, 100% of the time: Themselves. While I do believe everyone on the planet has the potential to change that attitude if they have it, I also believe only a very small number of them will ever actually do so.
No, I'm writing this article to those whose relationships are in trouble. You're probably 3 to 5 years into your relationship or your troubles started about then. Frequently, you probably think to yourself, "If only my spouse would . . . ." Sound familiar? Good. You're likely just missing one thing in your life: Relationship training.
There's a lot more you need than what you'll ever get here or anywhere on the internet. There's great stuff out there, don't get me wrong and they may get you started but where you really get the help and training you need is when you go to a trained, qualified marriage and relationship counsellor who can talk to both of you in the same room together and observe the interaction you're having. And then train you on the things you're doing wrong. It's worth whatever it costs. (And do your homework. There are plenty of crappy wanna-be counsellors out there who don't know their relationships from their asses.)
I think a major key here is in HOW the two of you communicate with each other. And that's what you need to learn.
Give it a shot. Find the right counsellor. And even if you're NOT on the brink of divorce, make your marriage a happier one with some counselling.
--Wag--
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