Turning a new leaf

Exactly 9 days ago, an extraordinary event occurred in my life. One which will NEVER happen again.

I turned 40.

You may think to yourself, “Uh, oh. He’s going to talk about the tragedy of it all. The black balloons are coming out!” Well, YOU may not say it but I hear people say it all the time. Rest assured, it’s no tragedy to turn 40.

At first glance, given the assumption that people generally expect to live to about 72 years old, my life could be seen as being more than half over. But I don’t look at it that way. I look at it as just being on the cusp, the very beginning of some wonderful things.

For starters, I didn’t even begin to be more than marginally productive in my life until about the age of 20. After that, I spent the next 10 or 12 years LEARNING how to live life. That brought me to about 32 years old. It was only then I realized I was really starting to get a grip on what life is all about. It was only then I began to be a productive member of society.

And the point?

I feel that now is the first time in my life I might know what I’m doing. The first time I feel, without reservation, that if I put my hand to a project or a task I can accomplish it.

But what about turning 40? Well, my friends, I haven’t turned 40. I’ve turned 8. For the last 8 years, I’ve been preparing for this moment in my life where I can look ahead and see I have 4 more “eights” of years ahead of me. If my personal and professional growth continues as it has in the past “eight” of years, having four more of those “eights” will bring about an extraordinary life for me.

Well, then, what brought about so much change during the past eight years?

I discovered a mentor. This is a man who holds me responsible for myself and my commitments. Many have been the times when I’ve made statements of marvelous plans for my future and my friends have not held me responsible for those plans and neither did I. My newfound mentor has begun to hold me responsible for not only reaching my goals but also for setting worthwhile objectives in the first place. Granted, these are all things which I should have been doing on my own all along, however, I simply did not know how. He taught me how, as well.

By the same token, my mentor sent me to a leadership training seminar at the very beginning of my eight-year emergence from my darkened cocoon. It opened the door to fantastic possibilities and I immediately began to capitalize on those ideas and to learn many more things about human nature, the nature of true leadership and the abilities I have within myself.

But it was more than mere leadership. It was a complete study of how human beings interact and how I interact with others. The value of such lessons can never be understated.

The most key component of my personal growth for the past eight years has been my focused, intentional study of people and relationships between people. I’ve done very well in this particular project of personal development. But as many things as I’ve learned, I’ve also come to realize it’s going to be a lifelong pursuit. I doubt I’ll ever know ALL of the things I could know but I do believe the improvement is ongoing and without end. I expect that if I get the 32 more years I’m hoping to get, I’ll have learned quite a lot.

When I completed the leadership training program, I asked myself, “What’s next?” The answer, of course, was, “Put this all into practice.”

I’m a recluse. A hermit. A loner. More than anything else, I’d rather be at home, sprawled out in ten directions with a book planted firmly on my chest. But that isn’t the kind of thing which builds skill in working with people.

I decided to go to college again. I hadn’t finished much more than three semesters of school and my decision was intended to kill two birds with one stone. One, I’d get a little closer to a degree. Two, and much more importantly, I’d have ample opportunity to relate to other people in an environment which fosters teamwork and interpersonal relationships. Indeed, one of the first classes I took was focused entirely on developing interpersonal relationship and communications skills.

It dovetailed perfectly with the things I had learned in my leadership training class and I did exceptionally well. One of the key things I learned is that where you sit in the classroom has a lot to do with how you focus yourself in the class. Although, I didn’t do a comprehensive study of it, I found that sitting in the exact center of the classroom was ideal for that class. It put me in the middle of every conversation and dialogue and directly in the center of the instructor’s gaze.

It scared me to death! Y’see, I was used to sitting in the very back of the class so nobody would know I was there. The teacher couldn’t see me and I could learn and study and test and never let anyone else be the wiser. Sitting in the middle of a communications skills class was an adventure!

On the other hand, when I took Economics, I sat in the front right corner of the class, and discovered that it gave me my sole option about whether or not to participate in class discussions. If I raised my hand, the teacher would notice. If I sat silently, the teacher would direct her attention to the center of the class and I could pay attention and hear everything which went on in the room. For such a subject matter, it was perfect because I could control the direction of my instruction.

Those are merely a couple of minor observations about the several classes I took. The most important thing I learned, however, was this: being in a social situation such as a classroom presents golden opportunities for personal growth and learning. We learn a lot from books, to be sure, but we learn the most when we are in the middle of a group of people, listening to them, testing ideas with them and discussing our ideas and thoughts with them.

It’s no wonder I’ve learned so much in the last eight years. During this precious period of my life, I’ve spent more time in the company of other people than I ever did in the prior 32 years. No kidding; that’s how much of a hermit I was!

So, as a 40-year old man, I’m poised on the boundary of wonderful things. I have plans, goals and visions which extend far beyond any which have ever been in my life before. I have opportunities which I’ve never encountered before. My confidence is greater than ever before. I’ve searched and found the vision of a life ahead which can be readily accomplished and which will be a reward unto itself.

Indeed, I’m thoroughly excited about my next 4 “eights” of years.

Forty? Hah! It’s a mere beginning!

--Wag--