Addicted to Speed

No, not THAT speed. Jeez, you think I could write this brilliantly if I were a loser on crack? Or whatever serves to amp people up these days?

Not a chance.

No, I'm talking about the speed and convenience offered by computers. Today, I saw yet another headline about how a system was hacked and the private information of some group of military officers was compromised. Yes, I mean, "headline," too. I didn't read the article through because I already know what it's going to say. The same thing they all say.

Now why on earth don't we solve this problem once and for all? All we have to do is all shut off all of our computers at once, leave them off forever and viola!!!! No more computer information theft! No more costly viruses! No more Spam! (Whoa. I think that one might sell me on the idea.) No more time wasted posting on newsgroups, bulleting boards and blogs. (Waitaminnit. I actually like that.) No more music downloads to waste my time. No more pirated music and movies. No more class action lawyers getting rich. (Starting to like this again even more!) No more garbage about conspiracy theories to distract my life.

Next thing you know, we're all going to be taken over by our moniters. Our eyes will be strictly pixelated. Do ya wanna be plasma or LCD?

Nice. We have a near-worldwide cultural addiction. What's strange is that with the exception of Australia, it's the Northern Hemisphere which is the most technologically advanced and therefore the most addicted. But what's really odd is the number of people who would go utterly ballistic if we unplugged them permanently. Good gawd, you'd have to drive to the computer store to buy software instead of downloading it. Or you'd have to wait for it to come in the mail. Horrible to comtemplate, I know. Tech support would have to mail you updated drivers diskettes so you could do updates. Of course, if Microsoft would no longer have to worry about security updates to Windows, et al.

Nope. Life would be good! We could probably even go back to the horse and buggy era of the dark ages of 150 years ago. Nah, that's too messy. How 'bout the roaring 50's? Nah. Crappy clothes. (Not that I'm a fashion guru or anything.)

Yup. I think the solution to all of our problems is to simply cut the power to computers.

--Wag--