Just a little anecdotal story, I was working with a lady at the leather shop last week for some new riding pants. We were taking care of my order while we waited for Ms. Wag to arrive. The woman who was helping me with my order heard me on the phone with Ms. Wag and commented, "I can tell you two haven't been together very long."
"What makes you say that?" I queried.
"Well, just the way you talk so sweetly to your wife." she replied.
I was kinda laughing inside because this conversation always ends the same no matter who I have it with. So I continued to play the game. "What did I say that makes you say that?" I asked her.
She said, "Oh, you called her Sugar-pie. It's only the couples who haven't been together very long who say that kind of thing to each other." I hear that quite often and it saddens me every time.
So I pressed her a little more. "How long do you think we've been together?" It was apparent she had an opinion on the matter and wanted to express it to me."
Oh, about three years, I'd say!" She smiled at me as if she had me cornered.
I have to admit, I actually laughed inside at her comment and body-language she used to shore it up. Mostly because I hear it all the time. "We've been together for nearly sixteen years!" I proudly announced to her!
Her reaction was the same classic reaction I've seen a gazillion times. Her eyes went wide, her jaw dropped and she gasped. "Sixteen years! I would have never guessed!!!"
"Nobody ever does!"
She finished with my order and when my wife arrived, we kissed, as we always do. The leather-designing merchant lady was duly impressed yet again. She fawned all over us. We had a great time in her shop.
What's really cool is, that's how we are with each other all the time without thinking about it. We are mistaken for newlyweds quite frequently. And we love it.
I think if you can engender the newlywed reaction from people 16 years after your wedding date, you can truly say you're in love. And the best thing about it? We're not acting, either. We really do fall more in love every day and we have no problem expressing it to each other.
To me, that's what a happy relationship is all about.
--Wag--
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Some people think that Counseling means that your weak and/or something is wrong with you.
Counseling is like anything else that we do in life. It is better training on how to do something (we need), to a better skill level.
I don't know about you, but my HS didn't teach me anything about how to express myself in personal relationships or (How do you tell the person whom you love that they just stabbed you in the heart or that they are not fulfilling a need you have?) how to have a budget and balance a checkbook. I had to take an accounting course in college to learn how to do budgets and balance a checkbook, and I went to a counseler to learn how to communicate better.
I'm not weak, and I'm not mentally ill (not text book, though many a friend will testify to the contrary). However, I did need more education. The more people realize that, the more relationships could be saved and then other people could have the treasure that we have.
-just my few humble thoughts
--Mrs. Wag (a very happy wife of 16+yrs)
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